Archie weds Veronica !!

For once, there are no puns. This post is indeed about Archie marrying Veronica.

I have been a big comic fan since my childhood. Not so much of an outdoor person, I spent countless hours poring over comics. Amar Chitra Katha, Nagraj, Super Commando Dhruv, Doga, Parmanu, Krook Bond, Ram-Rahim, Bhokal, Bankelal - you name it and I have read it all. And Archie indeed occupies a special place among all. I read it the first time when I was maybe in Class III. My sister brought one for me from her school. It was the first glimpse of what American high school life was like. It seemed SO SO much fun. I remember saving my pocket money to buy that new comic as my parents thought it was too expensive to buy. Having Betty or Veronica on the cover in a risque bikini would nevertheless make me so conscious about bringing it home that I would smuggle it as if it were a time bomb !! I grew up imagining Riverdale as America. Jughead's bottomless stomach, Veronica's spoilt rich kid attitude, Betty's next door girl image, Moose's dumbness, Weatherbee's frustration with Archie, Reggie's snobbishness all were integral part of the story. Most of the incidents are relatable. A hot chick comes in the class and all boys go crazy after her, the girl having a laugh when the hot chick dumps everyone else. The tomfoolery done to grab attention, Jughead's preference to a hamburger over a girl, Moose hammering anyone flirting with Midge and Archiekins ending up as stupid most often - all evoking a been there laugh :). But the defining plot was the triangle between Archie, Betty and Veronica. That was the perennial dilemma in Archie's life and thats what kept the series going. I was surprised no end when I learnt that Archie was indeed proposing Veronica. Betty was the perennial underdog and don't we like underdogs. The world has enough Veronicas who have the sass and spunk but sadly far too inflated egos. Betty is boring and predictable but sweet to the core and incidentally also Ron's best friend. Boy, doesn't she deserve Archie.

I don't know if this means the end of the comic strip or not. But it certainly feels a bit strange. Why on earth would Archie want to marry Veronica, who uses her when she pleases and dumps him for the snob, Reggie. Presumably, the only reason could be that the publishers wanted to grab eyeballs (which they have). I had quit on comics a long time back but I just could not resist this one and placed my order :D. I just hope that it turns out to be a gimmick and like true Bollywood movies (the plot is no less than a Bollywood potboiler), Archie realizes at the wedding altar that Betty is the one. If it happens, I think it would be a fitting climax to a story that has entertained teenagers for over a decade. If it does not, well, I have already quit comics, haven't I :) .

IPL, Politics & Graduation

First IPL II. Unlike last time, when I watched a lot of matches and highlights religiously, this time I restricted myself to following on Cricinfo and its iPhone app (so now you know that I have an iPhone :D). Here are some thoughts:

• The biggest story of this IPL is ofcourse the Fake IPL player. His posts before he became famous were downright hilarious. Appam C, Slimeball, Bhookha Naan, Kaan Moolo must rank as the most creative nicks for sure.
• Every Tom, Dick and Harry who were clamouring "T20 for youngsters" were made to chew their words back by Kumble, Gilchrist, Sachin, Kallis and company. Gilchrist's semi-final hitting was out of this world. Take a bow !!
• Can Lalit Modi ever leave any opportunity to make money ? If the 'strategic' breaks were not enough, he wants to have 2 IPLs a year. Phewwww
• SRK's team may have scraped the bottom but they spoiled the party for Preity Zinta & Shilpa Shetty's team. Haar kar bhi jeetne wale ko baazigar kehte hain ;)
• On paper, India's lineup - Sehwag, Gambhir, Raina, Yuvraj, Rohit, Dhoni & Yusuf, looks damn intimidating. If any two get going, the opposition is doomed.
  
• Most team owners don't give an eff about cricket...all they care about is money !

As for the other big news, the Indian Elections, I can only say the results are a good sign. I have grown up seeing my father and grandfather discussing politics heavily over breakfast and the interest started then. I woke up all night to listen to the election results and it was worth it. Nothing more mind-boggling than the commies scraping the bottom. Having lived in Bengal for four years, I have seen first hand that communism runs in the blood. For them capitalism is evil, period !! I still cannot fathom how it happened. I still feel that communists and Mayawati are good for Indian politics at the state level. Commies, for making sure that the voice of the poor and landless is heard; and Mayawati for ensuring that Dalits fight their battle on the political turf and hence avoid bloodbath. For once, people in Bihar rose above caste and voted for development. I would rather have a samosa without aloo than have Laloo :D. As a genuine believer in the thought that the Nehru-Gandhi dynasty did more damage than good and that most of the evil practices in politics were initiated by a certain Mrs. Gandhi and having promised myself never to vote for the party that would be helmed by these people, I think I might have to reconsider my opinion after watching Rahul Gandhi. He deserves a chance along with Omar Abdullah, who made one of the most genuine speech in recent times.

On personal front, I attended my formal convocation and effectively completed the last remaining vestiges of my schooling. I am not sure if I will go to school again. A lot of people have helped me get here, all of whom I have thanked here. I thank all of you again. It would not have been possible without you.

The 'Bro' Code

The inspiration for this post comes from Cuckoo's post on why she wants to be a man. And it makes me laugh because most of the things she mentions are what I call part of an unofficial Brother or 'Bro' code. It is a tact understanding between two guys on expectations and conduct. I was not aware of such a thing until I went to hostel and the "code" unraveled itself in its entirety. My understanding is by no means complete and perfect bu nevertheless here it is:

• The 'Bro' club has a minimum qualification. You gotta like the 3 B's in life - Bike, Bandi and Booze.
  
• The topmost priority in a guy's life is a girlfriend. It doesn't matter how long you both have been making plans and how much planning and effort has gone into it. When it comes to the friend or 'bro' getting his chance to impress a hottie, all plans take backstage and it is you moral duty to help him get his girl. However, once the status of 'girlfriend' changes to 'wife', normal service resumes. Previous commitments with fellow 'bros' HAVE to be honored.
  
• What happens between us stays with us. Unless explicitly mentioned, it is not to be shared with anyone in any circumstances.
  
• Cuss words are not be taken to heart. The rule goes "bhawnaon ko samjho". A "How are you buddy" cannot even come close to the affection conveyed by the instinctive "Kya be ****, kaisa hai". Substitute **** with a cuss word of your choice :D. In some cases the choice of the cuss word could even dictate how close the bros are !!
  
• You are not supposed to hit on your bro's girlfriend, even when they have broken up. And most definitely not his sister unless you have your bro's approval.
  
• You are supposed to behave like the most sushil sharif guy infront of your bro's parents.
• In case your girlfriend picks up a fight with one of your bros, you stand by your bro unless he violated the bro code. If girlfriend == wife, you are allowed to ditch your bro if you want.
• Your bro does not need your permission to use any of your stuff with the exception of underwear. No "Sorry', No permissions, No "Thanks". And yes you are not supposed to complain if your favurite CD collection ends up missing. Chill bro, its just a collection !!
  
• Bros are meant to live dirty....its their fundamental right. If your girlfriend has a problem, don't bring her home !!
• Your privacy is at the discretion of fellow bros. They decide whats supposed to be private and not you :P
• Not having a drink/sutta or two with fellow bros is insulting them. If your wife/girlfriend is the reason for that she is a nag and you are a 'joru ka ghulam'. Period.
  
• Bros talk straight....no beating around the bush. If your bro is a jerk, you tell him he is a jerk. No offences.
  
• X is a part of life - x-factor, x-box, x, xx....
• Your bros need to know who you are going out with. If they don't, they have every right to ruin your date ;)
• Sharing the vital details of the next-door hottie with your bros is your duty.
• Bros are never gay. Even though their actions suggest otherwise ;).

This is not to say I endorse all of the code or all of it makes sense. It is just the way it is. And yes, life would never be the same without it.

Quarter Century :D

Time to update my blog and what better way than to write the customary birthday blog. Unlike my previous birthday rants (2007, 2008), I am not going to be bitchy or inanely count messages/ scraps/ calls. This year I want to celebrate..... like showing the middle finger to the feeling called drudgery. Now that I am in a job (no pink slip yet.....touchwood !!), I can no longer wear my favorite T-shirt "No job, No girlfriend, No Money, No Tension". With the exception of girlfriend, all others have been amply fulfilled.

But what the eff....as if I care. Today I complete a quarter century of existence, however insignificant or wretched it may be. And I feel like a milestone has been achieved. The last time I was so excited on my birthday was when I turned 18. Apparently, in USA, turning 25 makes you more eligible. Sample these:

• Sometime last year, in the now famed Austin 6th Street, I was denied entry to a club. This club, Qua, had sharks beneath their dance floor which was all glass. The reason given was they only allow guys above 25. Shocked would be understating how I felt. There was no pint arguing with a bouncer twice your size. So, one fine weekend from this day, I solemnly pledge to go to this darn club and in a typical afro-american lingo, flash my f***ing ID to that f***ing bouncer and enjoy my night. Sharks be damned !!
• In all my trips, I have always paid a premium for being an under-age, which is under-25, driver whenever I have rented a car. It pissed me no end. One more reason to celebrate 25
• Those damn insurance companies charged me a bomb for my car insurance. "You are under 25 and hence the risk coverage is higher" was a standard response. Time to get the bargaining baniya out of the closet.....mhuhahhaha....more money to party :)
• I can now rent the Ferraris, Jaguars, BMWs and all high end mean machines. The last time I called luxury car rental, they cut me off abruptly as soon as I told my DoB, "We don't rent to people below 25". Damnn...what the eff is this fascination with 25.

So tonight I am happy that some unknown pleasures of life open up to me and I want to raise a toast of what has been an interesting journey. I don't know if the next 25 is going to have as many interesting and memorable moments as the past 25...hell, I don't even know if I will last the next 25. Sometime during my undergraduate, I made a "To Do before Marriage" list (yeah, I know its so moronic......but what to do....in some ways I am no better than Vinay Pathak's character in Dasvidaniya). I looked at the list today and I could check most of the things. Some of them remain but I am sure over the course of next two years, I can write "Mission Accomplished" on that list and tuck it away forever. And yes, having a girlfriend was never on that list ;). And yes, no more lists after that......its then time to just go with the flow !!

Now, here is one more secret on the list. I made the list after watching BluffMaster. Boman Irani and Abhishek Bachchan have a dialogue exchange which I think is the most profound ever in all Bollywood movies I have seen. That exchange prompted me to have a relook at my life and I realised the moments could be counted on my fingers. "What a wasted life I have led" was what I thought. Hence was born the list or "moments" I wanted to experience. Have a look at the video.



Life doesn't offer everyone a second chance and I am grateful I could make amends. The "moments" are beyond finger counting now and that is a good sign.

Time to enjoy now :)

A letter to Papa

Dearest Papa,

Today is your 62nd birthday. I wish you a long & happy life not only because you deserve it but because I need you in my life.

Some twenty odd years ago, you decided to let a part of you walk in this big world. Since then you have done your best to give me the best you could afford. I can't even imagine what you must have felt when the doctors would have told you that I might not survive 24 hrs. I don't know what you would have felt making those umpteen trips to innumerable doctors with me. I don't know how much embarrassment I would have caused you by my stupid naughty acts. I don't know how could one be so oblivious of all the good things in the world. Most of the times I don't know if you expect anything from me because you hardly say anything.

All I remember is your tender touch and your soothing words. I remember you carrying me while I was half-asleep. I remember you getting worried about my health. I know that it didn't matter to you if I was first, second, third or last in the class as long as I was healthy and happy. I remember you living like an ascetic and allowing me all luxuries in life. You would wear the same slipper for years until it was worn to death but you would let me buy an expensive 'Action' shoe.I know you would not sleep when I was ill so that you could catch even a faint sound made by me. You trusted me when others said otherwise. You let me do my own thing and believed every word I said. You did not cringe even once when paying my exorbitant school fee fully knowing this could be an investment gone horribly wrong. You are happy to let me buy a new phone and use my old phone. I know you have worked hard to give us a secure future least bothering about yourself. You would purchase all sorts of insurance policies for us but would not invest even one penny for your future. I know you have always treated me as an equal and advised me rather than pushing me into it. You have always supported me even though I have always done the opposite of what you'd wished I'd done. You let me find my feet in this foreign country even though it shattered you. I know that the love and affection of most people for me is purely out of respect for you rather because of me. I know the total conversations we have had could easily fit in a DVD or two. Its not because I don't want to talk to you but because I am so much in awe of you. I am scared to face you when I do wrong not because you would punish me but because you would punish yourself.

At my professionally and emotionally weakest moments, you have been right behind me and your loving assurances have kept me afloat in those times. I have consciously and unconsciously imbibed many things from you. Whenever I think of giving up, I think of you and I get the inspiration to fight. Whenever I get angry or impatient, I think of how patient you were with me and it calms me down. Whenever I tend to get selfish, I think of how unselfish you have been to help so many of family members. You are right up there in the list of people I admire.

Everything about you is the same for as long as I have seen...the way you live, your room, your profession, your habits, your routine. You have been a great father. It would be hard to emulate you as a man and I wish I can be half as good as you. Today as you begin a new year in your life, I wish you all the happiness. You so richly deserve it !!

With love and respect,
Your Son

Some blah blah...

I just had to get the Ganguly rant out of my system. Now that it is, I feel better. On a sidenote, I am surprised at the media's reaction to sportsperson who are rich. It is not the fault of Abhinav Bindra or Saurav Ganguly that they were born into rich families. Just because they could afford all facilities does not mean they have had it easy. Its like saying any damn person with 200 million dollars could make Titanic !!! If they had the advantage of resources, they also had the disadvantage of motivation. They could have easily chosen to join their dad's business and live a life of pleasure but they chose the hard way and pursued their passion. It is even more commendable for Bindra because for 12 years, he soldiered on without any recognition. Let us not find excuses why they succeeded while others could not. Where there is a will, there is a way.

On the other hand, this country(The US of A, I mean) never ceases to surprise me. When I looked at my salary statement, I realized that my monthly car insurance amount is the double that of my health insurance !! What should I imply - that a young human being is worth half of what a new Accord Hybrid costs or that a young human being is half as risky as a new car. The latter sounds slightly logical but still if the former is true, I am really ashamed at myself. I scream.......Suicide.......(ala Dharmendra in Sholay style :D).

As I mentioned in the post about my goals, I have started working on the list. To start with, I have joined Tennis Classes and Gym to fulfill items #2 and #3. These should be done provided the credit crunch does not take away my job !! For Item#10, one of the publications is underway and I am still trying to figure out how to manage the other two. Somebody else is really keen for me to do the Item#11 and even volunteering to do all the dirty work. Well looks like I will have to prepone the deadline !! I have also joined a NGO and I am trying to find time to work for it.

Life's been okay now. One big difference in graduate life and student life is the time you have. As a student in US, I was starved of time but as a professional, ironically, I manage my time better and find time for all sorts of activities which includes tennis/gym, some cooking, some surfing and some reading after work !! Not to mention the totally lukkha weekends. Weekends..ahh !! They pass so soon.....before you realise, it is sunday evening and the depression starts :(. For the past two weekends, I have been driving and watching movies non-stop...nothing else. This weekend is Diwali, in the US I mean. And I am going to Austin....where the journey began. Hoping it will be a fun weekend [:)]

'Dada'giri

I admire Saurav Ganguly. I think he is one of the most inspiring sports persons to have played for India. And for the same reason I feel that he hasn't got his due. Suresh Menon and his other critics be damned !! Back in February 2006, I had written an article about Dada being dropped from the test team. I was pissed because I thought that he did not have to end it this way. Much to my delight, he scripted a fabulous comeback only to find the axe hanging on him again. As a petroleum engineer having analyzed gigabytes of data and churned out a few lines of meaningful information, I believe that although numbers can be twisted, there is some truth to them. With the exception of Yuvraj, all of Ganguly's replacements- Rohit Sharma, Virat Kohli, and the likes are yet to play any significant innings of note in first class cricket. Couple of good 50s here and there are hardly the stuff test batsman are made of. Players who cannot score heavily against mediocre bowling in bat-friendly conditions, what are the odds that they will score heavily against quality opposition in seamer-friendly conditions. Any value investor will tell you that this is pure speculation. And like the current stock market, it will come crashing down one day !! The above youngsters can turn out to be finer cricketers that Ganguly but they aren't now. International matches is not where you 'practice' but where you send your best men. Domestic matches is where one finetunes himself.

In all fairness, Saurav Ganguly needs to be celebrated. The reason I admire him more than any other Indian cricketer is because like my other hero, Lance Armstrong, he has bounced back stronger every time he was pushed. Most cricketers (mostly Indian) when they encounter a Ganguly-like situation in the later stages of their career, they just wilt, take the easy option of retirement or just fade into oblivion. Jadeja, Kambli, Hirwani, Azhar, Siddhu and the list goes on. As Rocky Balboa said "It ain't about how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done." For me, Ganguly symbolized just that.

Lance Armstrong is making a comeback (again) this year given the current state of cycling. I hope Ganguly does not have to do the same !! If he does, I hope his detractors show some sense this time and retire from journalism.

Update: I am not surprised.....Lance Armstrong is one of Ganguly's sporting idols !!

A tale of two friends

Here is a real incident that happened between two friends R & G. Read it for fun sakes. 

Background: R & G were wing-mates at Indian Institute of Infinite Torture for three years practically living in each others' pants. G is known for his caustic tongue and sarcastic sense of humour and ofcourse no-nonsense attitude. About R, the less said the better !!

Now, the incident. 

April, 2007

R calls G. 

R: Hey G, I am coming to NY on 25th.

G: Why ? Whats  the point ?

R: (pause) To meet you a*****e

G: Hmm...ok

R: So I will stay with u 

G: What !!! 

R: Oi, I am coming only to meet u. 

G: Dude, I am busy as hell....I don't even have time to s**g. Besides, you can't stay with me. I don't have space in my house.

R: I am coming....work some other day. I will arrange for a stay someplace else. 

R hangs up. 

R lands in NY. Calls up G again.

R: Its me u mofo....lets meet up sometime. 

G: (long pause) Ok.....Saturday 5 pm, Grand Central. 

R: Done but I have a problem. The person I am staying with has to go somewhere in the evening so I will have to stay at ur place in the night. 

G: Not possible

R: WTF...1 night dude. 

G: I have a 2BHK and I share it with three other people. 

R: So whats the problem ?

G: All three of them are girls...now do u understand !!!

R: (rolls his eyes and hurls the choicest abuses) Now I understand where u have been busy and why u didn't want to meet me. 

G: Its not what u understand.

R: I understood what I had to. So you had been enjoying all this while. And what is the problem with me staying with u ?

G: It doesn't look nice if I bring somebody home. 

R: Now I am somebody.....how easily u forget the three years. If you didn't want to meet me you could have told me as much.

G: (Sento works, G defensive after long) No the things is where will you sleep.

R: On your bed, where else !!

G: No, I am not sharing my bed.

R: Who said about sharing, you sleep where you want to.

G: F*** off, I am not going anywhere. 

R: Ok, I will sleep on the couch in the drawing room. I am sure you have one.

G: Yeah, I do. Okay. Done. 

R: Fine but I will remember this treatment.

G: What !! I am letting you stay in my house. What more do u want  ?

R: You are not making a favor, okay !!

G hangs up. 

Saturday 5 pm, Grand Central. R is waiting for G. G is late. R calls him

R: Where are u ?

G: On my way. Where are u ?

R: Grand Central

G: Lets meet at Times Square. My train goes straight there. 

R: !@#$ Ok.

Finally R & G meet. After the usual casual banter:

R: So whats with ur three roomies. U like anyone ?

G: Why should I tell you ?

R: Don't tell me but atleast tell me what type of girl you like. 

G: Why ? Are you a broker or middleman ?

(R changes topic)

G: Actually, I like only those girls who are shorter than me in height.

R: So, none of those three meets your criteria. 

G: One does but she has a boyfriend for 7 years. If she did not, I would have proposed.

R: Whats her name ?

G: B** 

R: She is only committed, not married. (wicked smile)

G: Hmmm...I know that myself. You need not tell me that.

R: Anyways, when are u treating me.

G: Tonight.

R: Great

The great SoB that G was, he takes R out for a treat at 10 pm when all good restaurants close. Ultimately, they eat at just another joint. R goes back home determined to pay G back in the same measure the next time he vistits him. Three months later, R learns that G is dating B**. 

So, what lesson is to be taken from this story [;)] ?

 

Childhood Memories.......

Ok so this is going to be the last of my extended vacations before I join the rut of corporate world where holidays are at a premium. I was talking to a cousin of mine and both of us had shared a hell lot of moments during summer vacations. Ahhh....those times. Pure Bliss. I was lucky in the sense that I spent my vacations at two places - Banda(Mom's home) and Mahoba(Dad's home), both non-descript towns in the rural hinterland of UP. Since ours was a joint family at both these places, there was no dearth of people there. 

The house in Mahoba was always swarming with cousins during summer vacations. For sometime all uncles and aunts would come there and ofcourse it was we children who enjoyed the most. A typical day would begin getting up at 7 am and then getting ready. The breakfast was always super-delicious - paranthas, kachoris, samosas, dum aloo, jalebi.....almost every delicacy that you could think of. And then we headed off to the nearby playground for our daily dose of cricket. A shaded region in one of the walls acting as stumps and with a pitch so uneven that even a child could get vicious spin but then who cared. The best was yet to come. Drenched in sweat, me and my cousins would come back for a bath. We had a private well right in the middle of our verandah and the water was darn cold even in the sweltering summer heat. With so many contenders for every bucket, no wonder that the entire bathing process lasted atleast an hour. On some days if we were lucky, we could get to go to the nearby pond and frolic. After that, it was time for comics and video games. Our daily allowance for that was 7 Rs. each. but even that wasn't enough for us. After a lot of whining and tantrum-throwing, we would sometimes manage to get a rupee extra from our mothers. However if papa was around, there was no use of any of the antics 'coz he never budged. Lunch was usually quiet but after lunch, there was a lot of fight on who gets to read first the latest Nagraj or Dhruv comics. The evening started with another bath and then the entire troop (yes, atleast 20 odd ppl) headed to a family friend's place. No wonder we caused a lot of commotion there too :D. In the night, papa, uncles 

used to play cards and we kids were relegated to being support staff which I never liked. I would start whining again and then usually a tight slap from someone would be enough to keep me in check. All of us used to sleep on the roof as there used to be electricity cuts in the night. We carried our mattresses to the roof and then jostled to get the best available position. In the morning, when sun rose around 6:00 am, everyone either woke up or came down to the 

bedroom on their own. I distinctly remember never waking up and then papa carrying me on his shoulders to the bedroom downstairs. This continued till I was in Class VI. The only reason I was so excited to go to Mahoba was because I did not have to study there and nobody even asked me to. 

Times in Banda were a bit different. Morning cricket was followed by comic sessions. Afternoons were reserved for studying. There was no escaping that. Evening was spent playing cards or other card games. There were no public baths and neither were cards. No wonder I always craved to spend my vacations in Mahoba. 

How things change and times change. Tomorrow I visit Mahoba once again but there is no excitement. Its more like a ritual one religiously follows but I can't help recollecting my fondest childhood memories. Now, none of my cousins come to Mahoba. Uncles who used to live have left it to make a living somewhere else. A house once swarming with people now wears a deserted look with just a couple of families. The house well has now dried. The old comics/video games parlor has shut down now. The playground is now a haven for drug addicts and unsocial elements and the nearby pond now has standing water with only buffalos and cows wallowing in. How I wish those times could come back but for that I guess I will need a time machine !!  

 

For the Record !!

As a friend once said, Dreams will remain dreams till you write them and plan. Then they become goals. So, here is my list:

• Go Bungee Jumping (Deadline: 2 years)
  
• Develop considerable skill in atleast one physical sport (Deadline: 6 months)
  
• Lose Weight (Deadline: 6 months)
  
• Attend Brazil's Carnival before getting committed (Deadline: 2-3 years)
• Go on a Eurotrip (Deadline:5 years)
• Own a house (Deadline: 5 years)
• Travel Latin America & Vancouver (Deadline: 3 years)
  
• Get my name on a newspaper front page for all the right reasons (Deadline: 40 years)

• Zip off on a highway at 300 kmph in a bike (Deadline: 5 years)
• Get published academically atleast thrice(Deadline: 3 years)
• Write a semi-autobiographical book (Deadline: 20 years)
• Settle in India (Deadline: 4 years)
• Get an additional professional qualification (Deadline: 5 years)
  

Still Alive !!

This post is just to confirm the fact that I am still alive and most importantly, the blog is still alive. The frequency of posts in this blog has been directly proportional to how occupied I was. I am not the happy-go-lucky kind so I do devote substantial mind-space and time to get things in order. As has been the case with me, things don't work well for atleast 9 out of 12 months in a year. The fact that they do work for atleast three months keeps my flagging spirit high.

After a super-rocking bachelor birthday night and the ultra-liberating experience of Sky Diving, things in life have been dull. I doubt that the ecstasy of February, 2008 will ever be felt by me.
Since then, there have been a few job interviews - most of them ending in predictable fashion of get lost for various reasons. Not that I am a newbie at such experiences - my undergraduate travails had given me enough patience to reach a point when some company would finally take pity on my plight !! In between, there was also the dilemma of a possible home return. To make things even more complicated, my employer and my supervisor created circumstances or rather conditions which left me juggling more things than I could manage. Things are now reaching a resolution point and hopefully I will now have my share of three months of things going right.


Beyond that, my car became a real bitchy girlfriend and I had no option but to ditch her. She leaves me in loss but I am glad she is no more in my life. The place is open for another sexy beauty to fill up.

And yes, this week has truly been the 'Independence Week' for me. Not only did India celebrate its Independence Day on August 15, I did too on the same day (read: I Graduated :) ). Finally, a mission accomplished. the journey was enjoyable only for brief moments but the end result is definitely one to savor for long !! And to make things better, there is an India trip scheduled for September with the prospect of job life as a single lying ahead.....whohooo.. Finally, the day has come when I can sit back, relax and not fret about too many things. Its definitely a job done if not well done.

I just got to know that Dr. Randy Pausch passed away a week back. Here is hoping that the man's legacy lives on to inspire others. Next up on agenda is continuing Archie's misadventures, compiling my next list of dreams for myself and updating my life in pictures.

Its a fcuking gold dammit !!!

A day before the olympics began, I was having lunch with my colleagues. The American was gushing about the prospect of Michael Phelps beating Mark Spitz's record and being the most successful Olympian athlete of all time. The Chinese was gung-ho about hosting the Olympics. He started naming almost every Chinese athlete he knew of. Other than Yao Ming, I hadn't heard of any and could not remember the names even - you know they all sound the same. The Nigerian was accusing the american athletes of cheating, citing cases of Carl Lewis, Marion Jones and such likes. Me was totally lost not knowing what to say. And then, the dreaded moment. I was asked whom I was cheering. I shrugged my shoulders and said, "We will probably win a bronze medal and that will be it." Then came a barrage of snide remarks:

"Thats it !!"
"Ohh you guys only play one game...what is it...cricket ? I watched it once and I had no freaking idea why is it that you guys are crazy about it"
"You should fight to include cricket in olympics"
"You guys used to win in hockey...what happened to that ?"
"Even we poor nigerians manage more than you guys"

I realised there was no point in defending cricket and Indian sports. That was until today morning.

I woke up and started checking mail. Since orkut and facebook are blocked in office, I decided to check them too. There in the updates section, I saw a friend had uploaded a video "Bindra shoots gold". I was like "wtf...when and how did that happen !!". I immediately scoured the net for news. It was indeed true. Bindra had won the gold medal for India.....whooohooo....dhan dhanadhan...... !!

It was payback time today :D. I went straight to the nigerian guy's office and said "Dude, we won a medal". He gave me a no-kidding look. Immediately he opened the Beijing Olympics site and looked in the medals tally to find India's name above Nigeria. "I didn't know you guys shoot. I thought you only played cricket."
"Now you better know.....its a fcuking gold dammit. And he earned it beating defending Chinese champion in a tie-breaker starting fourth."

Since then, I have scoured the net to read every article on Abhinav Bindra. I feel like I have won a medal. Thank you Abhinav for giving me a rare moment of pride and most importantly the opportunity to walk an inch taller and smile an inch broader.

Take a bow Abhinav Bindra !!

Driving Experience and Blah Blah Blah....

So, all of those who are on orkut must have gotten to know that I got myself a Chevrolet Malibu !! I think it is just reward for the hopelessness for the past two years. That my Malibu is behaving like a bitch girlfriend is another story altogether [:d]

The moment I bought this car, I was delighted. I mean my parents gifted me a Tata Indigo this December but thats their money and so it does not count [:)]. Its my First Car Boss....you always have attachment to the first timers - first cycle, first watch, first crush, first kiss, first .....[;)] and so on. So, I decided to drive it to my sister's place, which is about 16 miles from my place. In normal circumstances, it should take me not more than half an hour to get there. Besides, I had my GPS with me. I called her and told I am coming for tea, done deal. So, I took my car and drove straight into the inter-state highway. Now, driving in US is easy.....considering that it is automatic transmission, you just have to accelerate or brake. Not having to deal with clutch makes it a child's play. Any idiot can yank it and drive [:d]. So, I hit on the gas and got to 65 mph, which was the stipulated speed limit. Ofcourse, most cars on the highway were violating the limit but since it was my first time, I decided to go by the rules. First time yaar !! Anyhow, it was great driving at such speeds without any worry of looking for pedestrians crossing the road as if they were the sole owners, like in India (Its always the mistake of the bigger vehicle there). The good times end here. The bad times start now. The GPS showed I needed to make an exit from the highway. I was instructed on the phone to take the last free exit. I was like OK, I get that !! I see the last free exit board and get on the exit lane. As soon as I enter the exit, I see the "Pay Toll" sign. I was like WTF !! I took the free exit. Unlike in India, i could not turn back because a car was right behind me and any attempt to brake would have meant that guy was gonna hit my behind, I mean the car's behind. Apparently, in the wake of the excitement of my first drive in US, I had conveniently ignored that the sign on the "Free Exit" board had an arrow next to it which meant it was a few yards further !! To top my misery, my GPS had gone blank. Since the toll way was a new construction, it wasn't on its map. I said "Great" and continued to drive till I found a signal on GPS so that I could follow my way around. So, I drove and drove. the odomete showed I had now gone 8 miles and still no signal. Flustered, i took the next available exit. Thankfully, now I got the GPS signal and I was somewhere in the North. There was another twist though, a shorter one. I still hadn't learnt to watch out for all, even if small and insignificant sign boards. Usually, on busy roads, the left most lane is exclusively for left turn and the right is exclusively for right turn. Since I had to go straight, I got myself in the second lane on the left. The moment I reached the signal, I realized that this was a left turn lane only which meant I had to turn left. I tried to act cute by trying to move to the right lane but the cars behind me wouldn't have it. One after the other, I heard three honks. If in India, three honks means nothing but here, people rarely honk. Apparently, its considered disrespectful. So, effectively, I was insulted my three people on the road. Sob Sob !! I stopped trying to be cute an turned left cursing the American Driving system all the way. Another 2 mile roundabout :(. Meanwhile, my phone was ringing non-stop. Obviously, people were waiting for me at tea and here, I couldn't figure past the damn roads. Two roundabouts and three honks had made me smarter and finally, I reached the home stretch without any further complication. It took me an hour and 40 miles to finally get there. Like before, I goofed up again but then who cares. Que Sera Sera !!

Back to studies, I am hopefully done with studies most probably for good. The future is still uncertain but then the excitement lies in how it unfolds [:)]. There are no sentiments attached this time unlike IIT. Infact, I am glad that I am no more a student. Partly, because I have been a student for far too long. Its time for a change !!

On the side note, it seems there is an ardent admirer of my Archie stories (1, 2, 3, 4) who is waiting for the fifth part and I have promised to obliged. Stay tuned [;)]

Clarification

This is perhaps a surprise and a shock. I never thought that this innocuous little post of mine
would be talked about. Frankly, I agree that the last paragraph is out of place and probably not the best conclusion given I wrote that piece just one month after arriving in Uncle Sam. It was not meant to hurt feelings in anyway whatsoever.

An eventful day !!

Not everyday is like this !! I received two emails in the morning which took me by total surprise.

• First one was from a dear KGP friend....he would have been very dear if only he had not forgotten to wish me on my b'day for two years in succession !! The mail read something like this:
  "Suryansh,
  there is a very bad news. Anish Kumar passed away today morning after a heart attack."
  My shock knew no bounds. This wasn't April fool and the person isn't the kind who would pull such cheap pranks. Still, I could not believe and called up another common friend to confirm. The news was indeed true. He had collapsed while waiting for the bus at the bus stop. I met Anish while on my way back home from kgp. We boarded the same train and had a lot of common friends. We even took a couple of classes together. Just two days back, I was chatting with him and he seemed pretty happy and today, it is hard to believe that he is no more. Anish, I will forever miss you and thanks for the memories of wonderful times spent with you !!!
  
• Other email was at the other extremity. One of my friends had a court marriage and then sent an email informing of the same. Ofcourse, it was a love marriage. Their family moved next door to us when I was in Class I may be. I really doted on her younger sister. Our families went from being just neighbours to great friends and then family. We watched movies on their VCR and I have lost count of the time we spent together either playing stupid games or dining together or going on picnics. When I was in Class VIII, they moved. But we were still in touch. Here is raising a toast to you !! Hope you have all the happiness in the world !!

Sometimes, life catches you unaware......you don't know whether to feel sad or celebrate. I guess thats why life is a bitch !!

Sky Diving !!

I do not know if I ever mentioned this on the blog or not but being able to try something adventurous was a sincere wish of mine especially Bungee Jumping and Sky Diving. Fortunately, this weekend I got to do one.

Though the plan was to go with four or five of our friends but at the last moment they chickened out !! The only people left were me and my room mate. And we were determined to get this over with....I was not going to wait for anyone to join. So, finally we rented a car and headed to Capital Skydiving in Coupland, Texas. The weather was awesome.....a cool wind blowing and the traffic was negligible. It took us just 30 minutes from our home to get there. Here are some pics:



So we go in and register ourselves. The guy there gives us a three page form which we have to sign. Basically, it warned us of all possible dire consequences including death, disability and blah blah and we lose the right to sue them for any damages. So convenient !! Now, if you are wondering I am an adrenalin junkie, then may be you are wrong. I just believe that the only way to overcome your fears is to do it again and again till you no more fear it. When I was a kid, I was scared to go up the merry-go-round because, well, I was afraid of heights. As I grew older, I was determined to get over all of that. And after trying far tortuous roller coasters than the one which scared me as a kid, I can safely say that I am no more scared. This sky diving experience was perhaps a final nail in this coffin !!

Anyway, back to the experience. The plane which was supposed to take us was a real small one. Have a look:



There were four persons on the plane - me, the pilot, my trainer Eric who would jump with me and Phil, who would videograph my jump. On top of that, the door from where you jump was permanently open. For me, that was the scariest part really. My trainer went in first, then me and then Phil and then we took off. We were supposed to jump at 10000 ft. The plane went zig zag and up and down scaring the shit out of me. There was nothing to catch hold of in the plane. I mean it would have been better if either the door was closed or they had a rod to hold on to. To me, the ride upto 10000 ft. was the scariest. Imagine the plane tilting close to 30 degrees and the door open and you have nothing to hold on to !!! Phew !! Eric sensed my apparent discomfort and all along he would tease me by shaking me up and pushing me at the wrong time. Anish would testify how much I hate it when someone does that !!

Finally, we get to 10000 ft. Phil puts the camera on his head and climbs out of the plane. For the first time, I look down. I take a deep breath....invoke the name of god, clutch my harness, get on the side step, arch my body and jump when instructed. It is actually a leap of faith. You do not look down when you jump but as soon as the trainer says "Jump", you do it !! As soon as you jump, suddenly air gushes up your nostrils and face and makes it into a funny distorted cartoon. Your body revolves almost 360 degrees with the force of the wind before gravity takes over and you head downwards. The free fall lasts about 50 seconds or so and you can hardly feel anything. My room mate was so scared that he had closed his eyes during the free fall. But being a vain person, I was constantly on the lookout of the videographer and trying to give a good pose :))

The best part came after the free fall. Just when the parachute opens, the harness tightens around your groin and you go "Oucchhhhh" and once again the wind sweeps your body atleast 180 degrees before gravity takes over. These wind sweeps are one exciting thing. Imagine doing this at 8000 ft.....bloody awesome !!! Once this is over, comes the most beautiful moment of the entire trip. Almost orgasmic !! You are slowly falling down and can watch the entire scenery...skies, sun, birds....all close up. And that is as cathartic as it can get. Spread your arms ala Kate Winslet in Titanic. And as Munnabhai says "Let the airforce come in (zara hawa aane de :D)". Eric lets me run the parachute. If you pull one end down quickly, then you get those 360 degree sweeps....whoaaa....I loved that !! For some time, I wanted to close my eyes, spread my arms and feel the air.....someone who had previously skydived told me that moment was the best...he could almost hear God !! Now, I was in no mood for a divine encounter....so I instead chose to enjoy the view below and the ride and spread my arms. When we were about 1000 ft., Eric asked to catch my harness again as we were about to land and ofcourse that was the boring part. All good things come to an end...sigh !!

Have a look at this video and tell me:

Quarter Life Crisis

Yet another year is knocked down. Yeah now I am a 24 something. As far as celebrations are concerned, I just treated friends and family at Clay Pit......got a few phone calls like last time and that was about it. Nothing memorable. Without a doubt it was one of the most uneventful birthdays I have ever had. Except that this was the Mardi Gras or "Fat Tuesday" weekend and .....and i was at 6th street at 12 hoping to catch and capture some action which I did [;)]. However that does not qualify as a memorable event in my opinion !!

Leaving the excitement( in every sense) of Tuesday behind, the most striking thing about this birthday is that you actually start feeling, more strongly than ever before, some strange things happening. I am 24 and would be soon graduating from a top-notch US college and hopefully with a job. My life is supposed to be the most happening but unfortunately the sense of fulfillment is missing for whatever reason. Growing up, I never had lofty ambitions. All I wanted was a job that would make me independent of my parents' earnings. The reason I chose engineering was because I hated Biology and on top of that I wanted to finish my studies asap. It was never like I loved engineering in the first place !! Like most indians, I played a %age game and chose by elimination. IIT was like a dream. Hell, getting out of Banda seemed like a mission impossible. And today here I am. Supposedly, a well qualified engineer - from IIT and UT in the US of A. Living a life which is supposedly enjoyable and frankly far far beyond my expectations 10 years earlier. But I don't feel any excitement. I am like "What a drudgery" !! And on top of that, I just don't want any job now. Suddenly, a list of haves and have-nots has cropped up. I seriously don't know when that happened.

I just read a T-shirt proclaiming "No job, No girl friend, No money, No tension". So apt for my current state. Hell yeah, no tension. But it sucks !! I am among the very few who are still single, were never into a serious relationship(with a women that is !!), and on top of that are still in the "pseudo-virgin" territory. Someone in the US will definitely think something is wrong and may be something is "happy and gay". If any of my wingies happen to be around in their element, I would definitely be tagged with the G-word.

College life was so much fun. Even more fun were friends - wingies and some non-wingies. Back then, almost everytime we got together, someone was made the guinea pig and our day and sometimes even weeks were made !! We did all sorts of crazy things and only occasionally the mention of the word "girl" and "gf" would come up. Hell, we even tried to get all the wingies single and only one lone warrior was able to sustain our assault. I am not sure if this is something to be proud of but certainly worth remembering !! Fun was the 90 deg rides, those 29 sessions, the water fights, late-nighters for exams in RK, planning birthday heists, b****daghat, countless bhaat sessions, the list goes on and on !! Cut to today, the conversations predominantly revolve around the other species. Suddenly all crazy stuff has died out....there is a sense of getting tongue-tied even when talking to best buddies.....all we are left to talk is mundane stuff, discuss other people's love life and keep probing about whats happening !! You suddenly find romantic comedies more enjoyable......and Coupling seems like the best serial ever made [;)] !!

Back home, there is no respite either. This time I went home, I met my school friends after such a long time. Except the first two meetings when we heartily regaled ourselves with hitherto unknown school escapades, most of the time we ended up discussing the "M" word, trying to fix the other person in our friend circle after confessing old crushes and now expressing complete lack of romantic interest in one another. That one of us was getting married in a few weeks didn't help the cause either. We had to tease her about her courtship you see :D. Ofcourse, all relatives now look at you like a crop ready to be harvested (read married). "Eat proper....don't put on weight....look smart.....warna kaun shaadi karega".....hello I am human not some sample piece !! The only good things is that my parents have not yet gone berserk thankfully. But the who-r-u-seeing is a constant question everyone asks u....and I do mean everyone !!

There is another bigger side effect. That your friends are leaving the exclusive bachelor club. You hear so and so is going to get married and you are like ok. But imagine the shock when you hear one of your school mates is about to become a Papa !! God, you feel so old. Also, whenever we talk to buddies, use of "uncivilised' language is an almost uncontrollable urge not to forget the scant respect to any of the womankind not in relation. The same conversation when happens with a friend who is now married takes an altogether different direction. For one, suddenly he is far far far more civilised and ofcourse he expects you to be the same. His house doesn't even remotely resemble what it was an year earlier. There are so many subtle changes and not to forget some awkward moments.

That I will change as a person was always a given. But sample this. After incessant remarks about my not so fit looks, I have unconsciously become calorie-conscious. An appointment has been sought with a fitness instructor......meal bars become an integral part of diet......and every morning you make it a point to look at your tummy hoping for a miracle that it gets flatter overnight. Whether all this has any profound effect or not is yet to be seen. You have a constant urge to somehow get hold of a time machine and go back in time. You become increasing judgmental of people. I have begun finding 9 out of 10 women I meet attractive.......may be i am turning into some sort of lecher. Caffeine and "dabba" are fast becoming my constant companions.

And why am I ranting like Bridget Jones here on my birthday........I just looked up wikipedia and found I am suffering from something called "Quarter Life Crisis."

I desperately need to restore some sanity in my life. Chatter, Podu and Laki....if you are reading this we definitely need a road trip for ol' times sake.....most definitely !! How about Miami [;)] ?

Three cheers to that [:)] !! I feel young now :))

Dreams.- I

An oft-repeated word....sounds almost like a cliche.....and like another cliche it is such a powerful word. But I am not here to rant about that. Many people do a far better job at that and some like Dr. David Schwartz and Shiv Khera make a living out of that. The inspiration of this post is this phenomenal video by Dr. Randy Pausch.




I really found this video quite inspiring and it was worth it to listen to all of it. What really got me down to write was when he mentioned his childhood dreams and how he went out to achieve all of that. Mind blowing !! Somebody once said that once you put down your dreams on paper, they become a goal. So this list is just that. A reminder of things that I wanted to do, have achieved and want to do.

Wish 1: I will start from my childhood. For someone who grew up heavily on DD and as a child whose favourite serial was 'Param Vir Chakra', a serial about 13 soldiers being awarded the supreme gallantry award of India, it was no surprise kid Suryansh wanted to be an army man. Like all young kids, my toy gun was what I treasured most. At all fairs, without fail, I would go to the airgun-balloon stall and try my hand. I still do infact. In Class II one of my favourite teachers, Sir Francis, whom I have mentioned here earlier, asked me what I wanted to become, I promptly said "Major" when most of my classmates were saying doctor or engineer or businessman. Boy, he was impressed !! The next PTA meeting he told my mom about it and at that time, I was given the impression that my parents had reconciled to that fact. But as Dr. Pausch said, there are always brick walls. And in this case the brick wall was my health which made me unsuitable for any strenous physical activity. I was gradually weaned away from that. In hindsight, I probably did not want it that much. So, years later in IIT, when I had the option to opt for NCC, I did. May be it was yearning to fulfill that one childhood desire. I still believe that serving for armed forces is the most honorable profession.
Status: Partially fulfilled


Wish 2: Blame it on my peers. There used to be annual sports and cultural fests in the college. Those were the happening things !! Sports was definitely out of question but what was rather embarassing was the fact that I could not even get in sync with the opening march past !! Even in NCC, I failed initially but eventually I got things in order, phew !! So, I tried my hands at cultural things. I tried at dance.....and boy I was so laden-footed beyond embarassment. I tried at acting but it was a mixed bag. To this day, I really wish I could perform once on stage. All the acts I was in never saw the light of the day......my shatabdi express-blurring voice did not impress many teachers and I was unceremoniously dumped (yeah, it was that bad !!). But as they say, if you really want it, you get it. I finally got my chance at a lead role in another function of my computer institute. And yeah, my comic timing had everyone(~80 ppl) in splits. That remains to this day my only public performance and a successful one. On the dance front, I am trying to learn Salsa here.....hopefully can perform too soon [;)]
Status: Some work done but work still in progress

Wish 3: Blame it on phillums again....I wanted to be kissed by a girl !!
Status: Err....umm..............

Wish 4: In Class VII, I saw a computer for the first time. And I was bowled over. Till then, i wasn't sure of what I wanted to be. But now, it was a computer engineer. Sadly for me, that didn't quite work out....I found out better things to do. My fascination with gadgets is perhaps a manifestation of that.
Status: Gave up :(

Wish 5: I have hated only two persons all my life.....and they spoilt my school life and I could not pay back. Wish I can do that someday !!
Status: Unfulfilled

Wish 6: After reading the salaries of IIM graduates way back in Class VIII, I was bowled over. I-want-to-be-in-IIM brigade had another starry eyed teenager. Unfortunately, could not clear CAT !!
Status: Unfulfilled.....unlikely in future too.

Wish 7: I once made a visit to DPS, RK Puram seeking admission in Class VIII. I gave an admission test and was told that I did not match their criteria. They said I should try again after 2 years and that they usually take 90% and above for Class XI. I loved the school and wanted to be there. Since that time, 90% in boards and DPS became an obsession.
Status: Nailed it

Wish 7: When in DPS, I happened to go to IIT Delhi and loved that place too and decided thats where I wanted to graduate from. It became a dream and though I did clear JEE, I could not get any IIT. Like always, I reconciled when hit by a brick wall and joined IT-BHU but this time the loss of a dream was too much to bear. I had another shot and this time I nailed it.
Status: Got it !!

Next set of dreams.....in the next post [:D]

Shopping !!

I just don't like this word especially when the fairer sex says it !!


Now, my objections start from my early years. I have been subject to the torture of numerous shopping trips by my mother and sisters. My job would range from holding their shopping bags and of late, babysitting while they shopped. I was amazed by their patience in finding the cloth fitting their requirements with a 99.99999% accuracy. The end result would be 2 saris finalised over a marathon 4 hours. Phew !!!

As for me, my shopping trips are scarce...like say once a year and nothing much and definitely in quick time. This weekend being Labour day (not the pregnancy labour :P) and me being in my sister's house with not much work, I had no option but to accompany her to her shopping thing. Yeah....its very exciting u know !! So while she window-shopped and bought one top or two here and there, I just kept gawking at the PYTs passing by [:d]. Even though the last time I shopped was before coming to US, I had no intention of shopping till I went back to India again in December. But I guess today was another day. We entered the 'GAP' store and due to the lack of PYTs inside the store, I began looking at the clothes trying to find atleast one piece to may be show off as a memento. Looked at shorts...liked them....tees....liked it....jackets....sweats..like them all. I wondered what was happening to me. I was actually thinking of buying stuff and that too lots of it. I looked at the price and when the (Price*40-Price in India) was <= Tolerance Limit, I decided to take the plunge. Meaning shop till you drop. I picked up a big bag and started putting up items one after the another. All this time, my sister has finished shopping and is waiting for me while I am gleefully taking clothes to changing room and trying them on. Finally, I end up at the counter with a bag as large as Tun Tun. One look around and I could find that mine was the largest one. Yo !!! I had finally beat the ladies at their own game. Didi was getting impatient meanwhile. Divine retribution, I would say [:)]. Apparently she had never thought she would have to wait because I had to shop. You see my distaste for hopping has quite a reputation !!

Finally I came out of the store.....looked at my watch.....it said one hour in the store......looked at the bill......it read 20 items and $ 2xx.xx . Whoa !!!!! I finally broke my own record if shopping in a day.I am so delighted that I would want o thank everyone for their support and guidance in creating this record. I solemnly affirm that I will make all sincere efforts to uphold this record !!

In the meantime, I am excited about the Thanksgiving sale in November. Anyone game ??

Growing up in pictures

This is one thing that I always wanted to have on my blog. I wanted to track my progress right from my childhood in pictures.....something of a cherished remembrance. Ofcourse this is one post I will always keep updating as there are still a lot of missing links and more pics which should be here !!

Sabse pehli pic meri bachpan ki......i was just 8 months old....just about able to sit and my sisters took great care to dress me like a girl. Do notice the faint lipstick, bindi, frock, bangles and pink shoes !! It seems they continued to make a caricature of me till I was a good one year old [:(]

And here are the two culprits i.e. my sisters.....in all their innocent glory:

This is a special pic...very special.....as strange as it may sound...this is the only pic where all of the purwar family is there without the in-laws and the out-laws [:D]....Mummy wants a pic of the whole extended family together but alas she will have to wait few more years before she can lay her hands on that [;)]

With my grandparents.....I don't know what I was looking down for !!

Bat pakadne ki umar hui nahin lekin pakdenge zaroor......favourite pic of everyone except me [:d]

Here is my favourite pic of mine....all of 3 yrs. old [:)]

Me and my cutie cousin, Manu

When I was a kid, a lot of my cousins used to come to our house in summer vacations...also ours was a joint family......being the youngest I was bullied a lot.....this pic is special because this puppy is very fondly remembered till today by all in the pic. That puppy was injured and we actually bandaged the poor chap. Ofcourse, that remains the sole act of kindness to stray animals I ever did !!

One of those bachpan ka rakshabandhans.......for once it was an occassion to celebrate. Last time when I was in Austin and didi tied me rakhi was the first time in 7 years that any of my sister had personally done it !!

In one of my playful moods.....such occassions were little and far between !!

Another summer holiday pic......even though i was a good 6-7 yrs. younger than most, i would always try to hang along with them, much to their despair......btw i barged into this pic...i wasn't invited [:D]

The three siblings......I love this pic [:)]

One of my birthday parties at home....it was mummy's arrangement all through and a perfect one always(I am cutting the cake btw)...my friends always loved my parties or so they told me.

Waise this pic has been hijacked by a girl in red and white.....and she is very shameless....when she saw she could not be the centrepiece of the pic, she walked by just when the photographer was about to click (look at her smug face [:D])...ofcourse she vehemently denies this allegation. Women will never learn to accept their vanity...sigh !

With Dabbuji aka Dilton[:d] back in 1998...both of us look as nerdy as ever.....dabbuji is a perfect example of deceptive looks....this guys today is a top notch I-Banker(the kinds Lehmanns and Goldmans fight for !!) with a bank balance as heavy as TunTun and roams around with a BlackBerry.....though I still can't imagine him in his Men In Black type suits :))

With Ankur and Manu...in my study room...playing monopoly......ahhh those times were bliss !!

Truly a mamma's boy [:)]

Rakshabandhan 1999:

Just for comparison...The same siblings.......December 2006, Austin

A few months after entering DPS in 1999....the bearded just-out-of-zoo look replaced by a more suave one:

With Maurya:

My roomies at DPS......the four nerds.....I always take pride in the fact that three of us cleared IIT in our first attempt and the fourth was the stud of DCE !!

At my desk in R.K.Puram hostel....ofcourse I am just striking a pose [;)]

My Class in DPS....my classmates were a bunch of talented people.......can you spot me in this [:D]

The DPS R K Puram 'Millenium' hostel in all its grandeur.....after having lived in hostels for a good 7-8 years, I can safely say this was the BEST in terms of facilities. Ofcourse it was bloody expensive. Thanks Dad for giving me the opportunity [:)]. If you zoom on the pic, you will find three black bobs above the 2000 board...thats me and my friends [:d].

There is a dialogue in Bluffmaster by Boman Irani to Baby B, "Roy, apni zindagi ke wo khubsurat pal yaad karo....jab pehli baar tumhe kisi se pyaar hua, jab pehli baar tumne kisi ko chuaa...." and blah blah......So folks, this is my first GPL !!

One of the pleasures of living in a hostel......late night gapshap/bulla/bhaat [:)]

On the annual school picnic(Class XI):

School picnic again:

I clearly remember the day this pic was taken. It was December 31, 2000. The JEE pre results had come in the morning and the principal decided to come over to wish the successful ones and to encourage the others. That night all the hostellers partied like anything......some to celebrate and some to lessen the loss of a dream.

I love this pic because its so impromptu. We were all about to pose for a group pic when suddenly Jindal came up with his own mischief.....a collectible [:)]

With my cousins at our ancestral house in Banda:

My Uncle took this pic just before I left to join IIT Kgp in May 2002:

My first wing at KGP....fortunately or rather unfortunately, Debu and Thanaaa stuck with me for the next three years:


The craziest and the most shameless bunch of guys I have ever met and I hope I ever meet...my wing......CFM, Patel

Another of good college memories......wing waterfights [:)]


"Bhai, cake khaane ke liye hota hai"
"To khilayenge na, kaise khilana ye hum decide karega"
That was what the wing decided:


Well sometimes vanity gets the better of you:


The wing loved to celebrate(read hog) :


I hate this guy [:d].....and I love it when he screams.....what else would you do if on a cold wintry night you were asked to take a dip in cold water [:)]....the wingies gave Thanaaa a taste of his own crazy medicine on his birthday:


Another guinea pig.....bechaare Debu ka b'day hai aaj:

Scene after the waterfight.....a tradition we started in our hall on friendship day:


Sombre mood:


At Chandipur, one of my favourite tourist spots.....we spent a New year night 2 kms. into the sea....yes we could barely see the beach from there !!


Bahut saalo ke baad maine is din subah ka suraj dekha:


No, this is not a gay orgy.....its a public shower [:)]


Bansal ka birthday......sabse neeche dhawansaab baithe hain.....sab dhawansaab ko pranaam karte hain [;)].......meri kya chemical ke aadhe logon ki B.Tech ki degree main atleast 30% contribution inka hai


One pic with Netaji......ye ladka zaroor kuch karega.....I won't be surprised if he becomes the Prime Minister of India.....precisely why this pic is here [:)]


One of the favourite wing pastimes......Hogging [:)]

With a fellow kamakal......bura mat socho......someone's taken [;)]


The studs.....at Howrah Bridge, Kolkata:


One of the best memories of our final year......the wing farewell party "Copa Cabana".....by far the BEST theme party any senior wing organised that year:


Chemical, IIT KGP, 2006.....i wish 30 years down the line I recall this pic even more fondly:



Suryansh bhai...B.tech [:)].....saath main Bonbon Da B.Tech


With my niece and her parents in Pune [:D].....she is the apple of my eye [:)]. This was the last of my extended holidays in India(June 2006). I was leaving for US a month later


Just before leaving for US.....I was so sad [:(]



One pic for my Bio [:)]


Another first......first picture in Foren Land [:D]....at Austin State Capitol, Texas

Texan Cowboy [:)]

I like this pic simply because it is different. I don't care if i look like a gunda, mawali. Ofcourse, it is my most controverial pic:

One more for the family- with my sister and brother-in-law in Las Vegas, December 2006:

A weird pic to say the least:

You always remember the first times......Sipping Margarita [:D]:

Tanhai......akelapan.....ye mere bachpan ke saathi hain [:)]......and this was the beginning of the English summer of 2007


Why I love this pic.....because I think it is by far my most photogenic pic [:)]:

The iPod wearing traveller in London:

Our first and last love is self-love [:D]:

No there is one more love in my life.....Aishwarya...tum mom ki ho fir bhi kya fark padta hai, main tab bhi tumse pyaar karta hoon [;)][:D]

With another kamakal......almost a year after we left KGP, I meet Bansal again, in London [:)]......felt strange because I never thought I would ever go to London and even if I went by any chance, meeting Bansal there was not the remotest possibility in my mind [:)]. Btw, this guy loves me [:D].....whether I do...he he ....will answer on a pvt. medium [;)]

What the hell !!

Now, this is what gets me enraged. As if the reservations for Muslims were not enough, the Andhra government comes with another obnoxious law:




Just what was the government thinking. India is a free country and everybody has all the right to pray anywhere he/she likes as long as it is not creating a nuisance to other people. The Congress' cup of woes is spilling over....it is things like these that make me support NDA inspite of all its flaws. They may be extremist but atleast they are saner. This is almost as humiliating and shameful as Godhra riots.

I am definitely not feeling proud to be an Indian !!

Dis-placement

This is the work of my juniors at Patel Hall. Worth a dekko:

Introspective Rant

WARNING: This stuff is as boring as it can get. Don't say you weren't warned.

I love to look back at my life.....I just love it like anything. I look back at each remotely significant event in my life till it is firmly engrained in my memory- doesn't matter whether the memories were good or bad. I think my best friend is myself. This could be perhaps because of my bringing up. I grew up in a joint family where everybody was a good two decades older to me. Even worst was that they were all extremely protective of me. I was as prim and proper a boy as you could ever imagine. Ofcourse, that was a decade ago. As a kid, I was extremely possessive about everything. If someone was my friend, I would be offended if he/she talked to any other person. Even though mine was a joint family, being the only kid, I was pampered with everything. The only thing I missed was how to pass time. We did not have a telephone then and Doordarshan was as crappy as it has ever been. I was allowed to go out of the house only with an escort. I did stupid things like arranging my room multiple times over with heavy attention to detail like the tablecloth had to hang uniformly on all sides. Like putting brown paper on all my books and neatly labelling them. Like cutting headlines and pictures and neatly putting them in a file. Like doing everything as slowly and meticulously as possible. There was hardly any outdoor activity. Only good thing that happened was that I picked up the habit of reading newspapers and books. My possessiveness ensured I had plenty to grudge about. But who do i tell that. On my table, there has always been a paperweight and over years, that paperweight has been privy to all my frustrations, despairs and turmoils. Over all these years, my possessiveness has gone to a certain extent but that paperweight still remains an integral part of my table. Much the same way, Tom Hanks loves his football in Cast Away. The difference being I am not cast away !! There is one more thing. That paperweight carries a portrait of a Hindu God and I address that as 'God'. So, 'God' has been residing on my table for more than a decade. And when I talk to God, he responds. I do not know if thats the answer my mind manufactures or is it my inner voice...whatever it is....i DO listen to that !! God knows me more than I do myself. The best part is that whenever I am feeling low, I want to spend the maximum time with God. I don't want to talk to anyone....it would help me so much if I could just shut myself in a room with God and shout at him, cry in front of him......and it does wonders to me. That 2-3 hours of effectively talking to myself does me such a world of good that I cannot tell you. That is my way of tackling lows in life.......I don't want anyone at that point......just MY God !!

In that sense, I am a strange person. I do believe in God but in none of the rituals. I only like visiting temples that are reasonably clean and quiet. very few temples qualify.....and one of them is the Vishwanath temple in BHU campus. Easy to find a quite confine......just me and God...no wonder I frequented it a lot !! Most of the inspiration in my life comes from hate and dislike for others. I am not so much of a driven and motivated person. I like to do things just to spite people I don't like. Being all around adults made me mature faster. I knew not all people were nice. That inherent tendency to trust any person was gone pretty soon replaced by a venegeance like feeling for those who had no business hurting me in the first place. I do not easily forget people who hurt me...I never can. And I need to be constantly reminded by others that I am loved.

Over all these years,a lot has changed in me and my life. I am not the loner i was....i am beginning to enjoy company.But some things haven't changed- my alter-ego God, that I find it difficullt to trust people, that I still don't want to share my failures- they are solely my property, that I so much want to be part of my friends' life and that my biggest motivations come from negative attitudes of people. The more they say I can't do it, the more determined I am to do it.

And you know what my definition of love is......the day I think of a girl instead of God for a SoS call, I will make sure I marry her !!!

Btw, I salute my country on her 60th Independence day.

Hail the underdog !!

No wonder this was voted the best video on YouTube:

Bollywood ki amar kahani

Thesis on Bongs

If you don't know what Bong means....its the nick for Bengali. I definitely know better after having spent four years of my prime in Bong heartland of Kharagpur.

Always wanted to blog about 'Bongs' and what makes them an interesting subject to study. I found this on an IIT yahoo group by someone. This was all I wanted to say. I am posting verbatim.

There are two kinds of Bengalis that I know. Probashi or Expatriate
Bangalees, a fairly large and diverse group about which I can't write as I
am one of them. And Bengalees who are from Kolkata. This group is
incorrectly known as Bongs, as they are merely a subset. However, this is
the only group which matters. Gokhale told of them, long years back, "What
Bengal thinks today, India thinks tomorrow." To which Rene Descartes
responded, "I think (today), therefore I am (Bengali)." Like all other Nobel
Prize Winners, Oscar Awardees and most successful Indian cricket captains,
Rene Descartes was also a Bong (this fact is not known outside of Kolkata).

Physical Description: The Bong has a large head, glasses, glistening hair
and dark skin. Older Bongs develop an ample stomach to balance their large
heads. This happens by the age of 25. They smell of Keo Karpin. The average
life expectancy is 65 years. What is even more impressive is what they do in
those years. Outside Kolkata, regardless of weather, sex or age, Bongs can
be seen in Monkey Caps. This is a must-have accessory as well as a sign to
recognize other Bongs. (please see second update for more). The Bongling can
often be recognised in either over-sized or under-sized school uniforms. The
Bong mother's second biggest fear (See diet for the biggest one) is that the
"porer bochor o lomba hoye gele abar notun skirt kinte hobe!!" or "Next
year, if you grow taller, we'll again have to buy a new skirt!!" Thus, the
school uniform is selected to last at least three years. Thus the uniform
sits as conspicuously on the Bongling as the plumage of a macaw.

Early Years: While most Bongs are born with innate talents in singing,
dancing, painting, film-making, cooking or embroidery, their creative
talents are honed even before they can start speaking. Frequent meets are
organised between infants and their successful ancestors and other
relatives. MA degrees (preferably from Cambridge, at least from Presidency
or Jadobpoor) are displayed over the cots. The infant is exposed to the best
of Bengali thought - Marx, Bentham, Kalidas, Tolstoy, Chekov*. This
increases the sizes of their heads and the height of their ambitions.
Similar examples, though rare, can be found in European tradition as well,
like in the case of Mozart. In India, however, Bongs have the sole preserve
on such activity during infancy. Soon, when they grow up a little, their
characters are honed in the best of schools. Here, I am not referring to the
South Points, La Marts, Don Boscos and all. They are important in the
nurture a Bong child goes through. What is even more important are the
schools the Bong child passes through before school and after school. Many a
Bong child wakes up at five o'clock in the morning to attend swimming
classes. After one hour of swimming, he attends tennis coaching before
rushing off to one of the South Points, LaMarts etc. mentioned above. School
finishes by two or so, from where he scoots along to Singing/Instrumenta l
Music/ Dance Classes, then tuition (for at least three of all five
subjects). He rounds off the day with coaching on either Debating or Quiz.

Many a Bong mother will carry the child along through this day, feeling
equally energised. This behaviour is again not restricted to Bongs. It also
seen within kangaroos in Australia who rush along from one clump to another
bush.

Growing up: Soon the Bong attains adolescence, doesn't find friends of his
age (since everyone is competing for the Nobel Prize or the Indian
captaincy) and finds intimacy in conversation in his/her parents and poems
of T.S.Eliot and Pablo Neruda. When school ends, they move on to the good
colleges- Presidency, Xavier's or IIT Kharagpur. The best of them, though,
move straight to Joo (Jadobpoor). However, in recent years, Dilli (Stephen's
obviously) is becoming the preferred destination for some escapists. In
colleges, they decorate their rooms with books or portraits of Robi Guru
(Tagore). On the opposite wall, men would have posters of Che/Maradona and
women would have Enrique Iglesias, thus expressing solidarity with Latin
American culture. All of them share equal interest in the Bong-Rock (Bhumi,
Chondrobindu, Cactus, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin and Deep Purple).

Later Years: Bongs mature early. Critics have said that they grow old early,
but that is nothing but old hat. Years of toil and Eliot would obviously
bestow wisdom. The reason they look older is because the sole purpose of a
Bong's life is to win the Nobel Prize or the Oscars (and in recent years,
captain the Indian team). With great responsibility comes great age. Add to
it the chlorine in the swimming pools and you know why Bongs grey
prematurely. As far as their mission in life is concerned, they have been
very successful at it. Every Indian Nobel Prize winner has been Bong. So
have the Oscar Awardees. And most successful Cricket Captains. And Bipasha
Basu. Once Bongs have kids though, their mission on life changes. The only
raision de'etre for them is making sure that their progeny achieves the
heights that they could (or couldn't). Hence, they are mostly found outside
of schools, colleges and tuition classes.

Diet: Diet is as important as Robindro Shongeet. There's nothing that a
Bong can't eat. However, they prefer protein over other food groups. The
largest source of protein for them is fish, then meat, and then mishti
(sweets) made from milk. More than fish itself, it is the knowledge of fish
which is coveted and enjoyed. Carbohydrates are tolerated if they are fried
in oil or if it is accompaniment to fish. Luchis (somewhat like aPuri),
Telebhajas (pakoras) and Phuchkas (Paani Puri) are the favoured source of
carbohydrates. The young Bengali though invariably always has Farex,
Lactogen and Waterbury's Compound. As far as they most important meal of the
day is concerned, please do note that what dieticians have been saying in
the last few years, Bongs have known for centuries. Breakphast/tiphphin is
an occasion where the entire family comes together, to watch the
office-going Bong male and school-bound Bonglings eat. The Bong woman's
biggest fear is that "Shokale bhaat dal mach bhaaja na kheye beriye gailo"
or "In the morning, He went out without eating rice, dal and fish fry." To
round off the calories, Dal is often accompanied by aaloo bhaate, aaloo
bhaja, potol bhaaja and various other heartily fried stuff. Not for the
faint-hearted.

Mating and procreation: A few Bong end up being in relationships, which lead
to love marriage. This is sometimes shown in movies and song. However, most
do not have any such social malignancy and end up marrying the woman of
their mother's dreams or men of their father's choosing. This results in
mixing the right genes for the next cycle of Bongs.Love marriage, by its
very nature, is random. It sometimes results is tragedy, like marrying into
another country (like India). Hence, it is avoided, wherever possible.

Social Life: Adda, robindro shongeet and cha. Repeat. Do note that the young
Bong doesn't have a social life (at least not till he wins the Nobel or gets
a Government job). And phootball. the Bongs have had an illustrious history
of achievement in football. Every para (neighbourhood) has stories of when
they won the World Cup at the expense of the next one. The last time it
happened in my parent's para was in 1986, when Argentina won in Mexico.
Diego Maradona, who looks Bhodrolok enough, give or take a few lines of
coke, scored famously using his hand, a skill which he learnt in
Kolkata.Over the last few years, Brazil has been gladdening the hearts of
many Zicos who were born in Kolkata around 1982-86. The only team which is
not Bong is Germany as they play with more efficiency and no creativity,
which thus is not amenable to adda. Do not ask of a Bong doing anything on
the phootball field as then the Bong will keep you occupied about
Jakarta,1962. "Chuni Goswami je Ball tule dilo PK ke. Match-er aagei
bolechilo, "Ekta Ball debo. Daam kore maarish. Gol hobe"." Chuni Goswami put
a football up for PK (Banerjee). He told him before the match itself, "I
will give you one ball. Hit it with a bang.Goal will happen." Obviously, it
is also the crowning moment of Indian phootball.

Habitat: While you may find a Bong in other places (like occasionally in
offices), the best time to observe a Bong is in his natural habitat - the
best of colleges, the best of schools, the best of coffee houses. It is here
that he will tell you about Balzac while she will recite poetry with gay
abandon. To mix in with the Bong, apply Keo Karpin to your hair and carry a
jhola. Hopefully, they won't notice your small head. Do not worry about not
knowing the language as the Bong likes being heard.

Famous Bongs: Many famous Bongs have been referred to in this extract.
Hence, this section is used to debunk that big myth about Bongs. People
believe that Bong men can't be hunky. If so, then what about Abhishek
Bachchan (via mother), Saif Ali Khan (via mother), John Abraham (via
girlfriend), Hritik Roshan (via grandmother) .

Bongs in Literature, Film, Art:

Everywhere you care to look.

Closing Word:
Being Bong at the end of the day is a state of mind. Or, a case of being
discovered by them. Best of luck.

Some sense finally !!!

A year or so back, I had blogged about a clumsily drafted law for prevention of domestic violence which was so frivolous that I couldn't help blogging about it. Thankfully, its up for review now as
IBN reports:




I just hope that this time good sense prevails and a law which is fair and unbiased comes out. However like every other time this may be wishful thinking.....sigh !!!

The evolution of Archie: IV

It was Christmas. Archie had been waiting to get home to meet his old gang. He was most excited to meet Betty after he had read her message.

Finally they meet up.....at their favourite hang-out joint: the sunset point.
Both of them had changed a lot and ofcourse had a lot to share !!

"Hey lady, you look all grown up. You are not the kiddo i knew"
"I was always grown up but only you failed to notice."
"Okay I do now....so does anything change", Archie said mischievously
"Naughty boy....what do u wanna change", Bets said rolling her eyes
"Okay forget that, what was it you said about losing your cherry. I still can't believe its your message !!"
"O god...I knew that. It was indeed mine"
"Besharam.....behaya.....mujhe chhod ke kisi aur ke saath", laughed Archie
"Haan.....kuch kabaad loge mera"
"Ye sab chhodo......zara apni fillum ki story sunao"
"Okay. It all began one weekend. I was at a downtown restaurant enjoying dinner with my friends when suddenly all of a sudden this guy walks past me and comes back to me and says 'Do you believe in love at first sight or shall i walk past again!!' "
"Cheesy...but hey I have heard this before"
'I know"
"So what did you say"
"What could I say....what would you do if a random girl would say that to you"
"Mostly I would say yes...", Archie grinned
"Oh, my mistake. I forgot I was talking to a boy. Thanks for letting me know"
"What boy...you hypocrite....if the guy would have been tall and handsome, you would have jumped at the opportunity"
"Ummm....may be.....except that he was anything but tall and handsome"
"Ohh"
"Anyway, I just ignored him and walked away. The next day I recieve an email from him apologising for yesterday's incident. He said he was just playing 'Truth and Dare' with friends and it was his dare act."
"and you fell for that", Arch said looking bewildered
"No yaar, you know how circumspect I am with boys"
"Then"
"Out of courtesy, I just replied him back saying that its all forgiven. Two day later, I bump into him in a squash court and he again apologised and bought me an ice cream."
"Ice cream after a workout.....wonderful....no wonder those stupid americans have escalators to get to the gym"
"Ha ha.....well thats what you work out for", Bets grinned
"So, what next"
"We just introduced ourselves. He was a law major and actually lived in the same building as mine. Interestingly, he was also an administrative assistant in my department. He invited me to his house for a pot-luck. And actually it was here that we did spend some good time. Now that he knew me, he started dropping in at my office for occasional coffee. I found him interesting."
"You mean none of us guys were interesting. How mean !!"
"Hmm....bahut hero ban rahe ho.....pehle to kabhi itna flirt nahin kiya mere saath. Par nikal aaye hain bachchon ke"
"Can say the same for you....anyway you carry on"
"Yeah, so we did start hanging out together. First thing, he was a good cook so I enjoyed his dinners. And it was refreshing to talk to someone from a different background than mine. We had a lot of interesting debates. He was well-read. Quite an intellectual.....strongly opinionated person."
"Cut the long chase short....what got you attracted to him"
"Uff....u guys seem to have no patience !! What got me attracted to him was that he was unconventional."
"You mean outlaw sort of", Archie teased her
"U r so mean !!!!! jao nahin batati"
"Oye nakhre mat kar....chal sorry...ab bata what conventions did he break"
"He was quite dreamy.....he discussed plans about setting up his own law firm later on....how he wanted to retire at 45 and go back to his native village....that his dream was to go on a backpacking trip of the entire world...he showed me his collection of videos from places he had gone and wanted to and trust me those were some really vivid imagery. Besides, he was so positive. How many times he lifted my mood with his stupid probabilistic calculations proving that I was actually lucky to fail !! And gradually I was getting attracted towards him. One day we went sky-diving in Lexington together and just when we were in mid-air, he proposed unexpectedly. That was the most pleasant surprise of my life."
"And you accepted ofcourse"
"Yeah, I would be so foolish and unromantic not to"
"That brings us to the million dollar question. Why on earth you couldn't wait till marriage ?"
"Not that I couldn't but just that the occasion was such. The whole day we were just chatting discussing everything we ever wanted from our partners......the innermost thoughts, fears and expectations flowing with ease. That was the most romantic evening of my life and it all just happened. And it was so beautiful...an experience of a lifetime."
"Nice....congrats then. So you were lucky finally !! "
"But your face tells me you don't quite think the same", Bets caught Arch unawares

How could it be....how could someone hear such things about his beloved with calm and ease. No doubt Arch was shattered but he had learnt to restrain himself in these situations.

"You know what.....I still think you should have waited"
"Hmm....now we have the chauvinistic male speaking"
"No...its not that"
"Achcha then whats that....tell me"
"Kuch nahin maze kar.....US jake sab aise hi ho jaate hain"

There was silence for a minute. Archie was trying to hide his disappointment.
And suddenly Bets burst into peals of laughter. Archie was stunned to say the least.

"Whats there to freakin laugh in that, stupid", he said
"I cant believe you just fell for my bluff"
"What !!!!!!!"
"Only you can play pranks on me kya.....forgot the pranks you played on me. Remember I told you, when I strike you will remember !!"
"Sure babe that was a neat one you pulled off. So there is no mr. outlaw in your life."
"No there is. Only thing we still haven't been so intimate"
"C'mon now don't try to pull another one"
"No seriously, I am committed. I wanted to tell you that but then I thought this was a nice opportunity to get even with you. And besides, I would not be telling you about such private things of my life. These are not for child consumption, idiot."
"Hmm...i should have guessed. That was so unlike you. But i thought may be you too had changed."
"Change....me...why something changed in your life kya yaar ?"
"The world is not the same as I was brought to believe. It is not so innocent as i thought."
"I can get it. What you are suffering from is a bit of culture shock"
"Let me confess something to you today. Something which I think you ought to know. I have a huge crush on you. Ofcourse, it would not matter now. You seem to have chosen some outlaw"
"Archie, this better not be a prank. I am serious this time."
"Even I am damn serious."
"Ohh god...i hope you are definitely not serious about me because if you are, then thats a big problem."
"No I am not", Archie was a master of understating his feelings
"Ahh..thats relieving. So, what was the reason of confession. You could easily not have told me."
"Bets, I always admired you and I was sure that my partner would be like you. But....."
"But what"
"There is a girl in my class, Helen. She is exactly the opposite of what you are. But I seem to be having hots for her."
"You cheapo....you want to have two girl friends", Bets teased Arch
"C'mon yaar...help me out. There is so much confusion in my life you know that i just don't know what to do"
"Hmm....lets sort this. What did you mean by opposite ?"
"She is brash...outspoken....not at all shy...swears and i suspect that probably she is loose"
"How are you so sure ?"
"Just my hunch"
"And why does her virginity matter so much to you ?"
"I think it shows commitment and values"
"Quite possibly there is a good intersection between the two.....but there maybe a subset which
may be out of it"
"What do you mean ?"
"See Arch, my personal opinion is that virginity is an over-rated virtue. You cannot logically equate character and virginity. I believe there are too many exceptions to it to make that a rule. There can only be three reasons for doing it before marrying- either you were a nymphomaniac or a prostiute, you were very gullible or your relationship didn't quite turn out the way you wanted. The first class of people are the ones responsible for the plight of the other two and they can be easily spotted. As far as swearing is concerned, don't act coy. I know you are very well behaved but I bet you won't see your best friend in a different light if he swore. But yeah there is the stereotype that women have to adhere to some rules which is quite unfair. Just put yourself in her shoes and picture the situation and then do what seems right."
"You are making me think"
"If that is the case, look at it this way. You would be looking to spend a lifetime with your partner. How long will it be before you consummate - a day, a week and at max a month. Don't let short-term pleasure dictate the course of your life. And besides, your hunch can be wrong. After all, you ain't Nostradamus !!"
"Yeah, i seem to have a lot of bias. Perhaps I should learn to judge people objectively without ant prejudice. I think I should get to know Helen better."
"Attaboy.....the most important things is to be able to share your most private feelings with her without any fear. I think you can't love someone unless he/she is your best friend"
"Hey, I was your best friend but you ditched me for some outlaw"
"Arch, you say outlaw one more time and I am gonna kill you.", Bets said mockingly strangulating his neck, "His name is Shaun"
"Fine but you did not answer my question"
"C'mon.....I like you but he is the kind of man I would want. Nothing wrong in you but you know you really can't pinpoint why you like someone over the other. It just happens. And forget me....start dating Helen.....itna sochne ka nahin", Bets winked at Arch.
"Yeah...may be.....I don't know....forget that...whats the news with da rest of the gang"
"Everyone is getting hitched....except for u !!"
"What....who...with whom ?"
"Jugs and Big Ethel and Dilton is dating another geek of his type from his college"
"Crap.....I need to act fast"
"Ofcourse"

-----------------------------------------------

Archie is back to school.
Somebody had complained against Junglee and he was serving a 15 day suspension for indiscipline. Arch was glad that he had temporary respite.
He badly wanted a girl friend.....because all his friends were having one......and it was cool too !!
He was still wondering about whether he should propose Helen. Finally he made up his mind. He was going to.......but how ? And will she accept it ?

To be continued.............
-

Strange things are happening

• I am suddenly out of touch with my friends
• I am increasingly feeling like an object rather than person
• People seem more interested in my degrees than me
• I no longer feel the urge to pick up my phone and call people
• I feel totally detatched
• I am talking to my mum almost daily for more than half-an-hour......a far cry from days when 5 mins. was more than enough. I have never felt so close to them ever !!
  
• "Kitna mil raha hai" is a common question I am answering now-a-days much to my utter embarassment
• I am being accused of not being in touch with my friends when i feel it is the other way round
• I now know what things mean the most to me. There is absolute clarity !!
• I always felt being wealthy was a sign of being productive and nothing more. I was appalled when too much meaning was added to wealth. Now, I am feeling sick about it especially because it is my near ones who are indulging in this now.
  
• I am appreciating the value of true friends even more
• I am finding blogging therapeutic
• I am feeling jealous of people who seem happy despite obvious difficulties
• I do not feel like eating much
• I am getting into my loner mood often
• I seriously feel I am being mis-used by people close to me
  
• I am feeling ashamed that a person convicted of felony and helping murderers is the President.....all because of one person's sick wish !! Last time I felt so was when the Godhra riots happened.

And before you jump to any conclusion, I am neither paranoid, depressed or suicidal. I am just being a bit introspective !!

The evolution of Archie - III

When he was growing up, Archie had no solid idea as to what romance was. The only time he had heard the word romance was when his class teacher had reprimanded the whole class for neglecting their studies for romance. For him then, romance was equivalent to something sinister...something which the 'good boys' were not supposed to indulge in. Ofcourse there were pairs in the class and Archie too was 'supposed' to be having an affair with someone, who interestingly, he couldn't even call a friend. He had a huge crush on Bets....only thing is the only person who knew about this was Dilton. The worst part of he himself had a crush on her. Thanks to some optics knowledge they picked up and their nerdy selves, they used a miniature periscope to stare while a class was going on. And the best part was that they would be the last persons any teacher would suspect to be doing such things. Such reputation precedes geeks !!! But this was a pretty miserable situation.....two friends.....2 nerds.....1 crush.....and no one having the guts to date the girl......waiting for the other to take lead. Ofcourse, as they later found out much to their dismay, delay is a death blow in these matters. Dilton did get to make corrections later in his life but as Archie was to find out later, this was just the tip of his utterly miserable love life.

Nevertheless, Archie had set foot on a place so very distinct in contrast. On his first day to school, he was greeted with strange faces and ofcourse an amused look saying to him "Dude, dress down a bit !!". To his utter surprise, a rather beautiful bosomy girl sat next to him. Despite being a nerd, he did notice how voluptuous she was !! She smiled at him and Archie returned back a toothy grin. That idiot still did not know how to distinguish the sarcasm in the smile and the reason she sat next to him was because that was the only seat available. Ofcourse, he still would waste that oppotunity and would not start a meaningful conversation and it was the girl who broke the silence,
"Hi, I am Helen. Are you new to the school ?"
"Yeah"
"I could make out" and giggled
Ohh....that laugh......Archie's weak point was a girl's smile.
His hostel-mates were giving him envious looks, winking at him and doing all sorts of funny things to distract his attention. Archie was hardly amused.
During all the classes, Archie was diligently taking down all the notes while Helen was chatting to her neighbour secretly.....yeah those girly-girly things, which are mostly useless but they still call them 'secrets'. Ohh they could have been PMSing....ofcourse poor Archie would not even know what it was. When he was coming, his uncle Sam advised him, "Stay away from girls if you want to make a career. Don't think of having those conniving girls as your mates. They will look enticing and they won't study nor let you study." Such words of wisdom....no wonder his uncle was a divorcee. The more he looked at Helen, the more that picture of a beautiful scheming woman he had read in Shakespeare 's plays got engrained. The fact that he had barely spoken a few lines to her and formed a biased opinion was lost on him. His chain of thought was broken by the booming voice of the class teacher.
"Ok, so this is the first class of the year. I welcome all the new students. I first want to recognise the outstanding achievers of last year. Can the topper please stand up ?"
To Archie's utter horror, Helen was beginning to stand up.
He hastily whispered in her ear..."she asked for the topper"
She said "I know" and gave her a how-dare-you stare.

After the class, Helen got back to him,
"What made you think I cannot be the topper ?"
"You don't look like one", Archie blurted.....exactly what he was thinking
"What the f**k.....I look like a f**king whore or what !!"
Archie could not believe what he had just heard. He did not know what whore meant but he did know what the f word meant. The last time he heard it he was advised it was to be used by 'bad boys'. Helen had just broke all stereotypes he had in his mind of a topper and on top of that of a girl.

Trudging back to the hostel, Archie was thinking about Helen only. His friends especially Reggie and Anc were pulling his leg at the lunch table. Soon the entire hostel got to know of that. Not to mention the menacing seniors.

The girl's hostel was nearby and every evening he would make that extra effort to look good. Not that it did matter. Just then, the ever-menacing Junglee enters the room.
"Helen wala launda kaun hai be ?"
All looked at Archie.
"Ye namoona saala. Chal be aa tu room pe.....bahut hero ban raha hai"
-----------------------
"Tu baitha tha na aaj uske saath.....sahi hai.....kaisi lagi....tera pen to bahut gira hoga aaj fir" (loud laughters)
Archie did not know what was meant by the last line but he did not want to acknowledge his ignorance. Little did he know that three months down the line he was going to be master of that art(?)
"Hil****a aaj jaake fir pakka"
(No idea still)
"Chal describe kar use"
"She had a lovely smile and is the topper of the class...she was pleasant to talk to and she wore white shirt and..."
"Abe ae apni ramayan band kar....ye sab humein bhi pata hai.....zara "inner" description do"
"She looks to be nice-hearted, warm..."
"Chhhhhhhhhupppppppp', shouted Junglee, "sun paka mat warna bahut maroonga teri.....andar bola to andar karne ka samjha....."
Archie did get the meaning this time.....he was about to break down but was saved by the 'disperse' shout from outside indicating a principal visit.

Reggie and Anc were waiting for him.
"Kitne gande log hian yaar....they asked me to describe Helen, you know"', Archie stressed 'describe'
Reggie and Anc laughed and said, "so what did you say"
"How can I yaar.....thats so disgusting"
"Abe ye to bhola babu hai....iska kuch karna padega warna ye yahan bemaut maara jayega"

What followed next was akin to Lord Krishna lecturing Arjuna about his karma. It was all pure gibberish but did clear some cobwebs from Archie's head.

"Achcha ye sab to theek hai....ye bata tujhe Helen pasand hai na", Reggie winked at Anc
Archie blushed.....yeah those girly type cheek-turning-pink blushed.
"Use impress karna hai kya"
Archie nodded in affirmative
"To insaanon ki tarah rehna seekh...bloody shave your beard first....and get some chic glasses...u look like someone came from a zoo.....and dress down a bit !! Aaage Anne French use karna aana chahiye but wo aage abhi ke liye itna hi", said love-guru Reggie high-fiving Anc

The monday after the weekend, Archie is a changed man. Even Helen is surprised.
"You look changed. Nice"
"I know. Thanks"
Then the class teacher comes in and announces, "We are having a "Sex education session" in the later half...all girls in Room A and boys in Room B"
If this announcement had been in Archie's previous school, there would have been a lot of hush-hush. But everyone was cool here.

Helen: "I am sick and tired of these....they have one every year....same old s**t"
Archie was no longer surprised that she was talking about it
"We never had those in our previous school"
"Ohh.....so you relied on hearsay....hmm the old-fashioned way. Then you should go there. You will get to know interesting things", and she winked.
Holy Cow !! A girl winked at me......Archie is elated !!
"What interesting things ?"
'Do you know what a G-Spot is ?"
For a moment, he thought it was the cold drink Gold Spot she was talking about. But why they would mention that in a sex education class beat Archie's logic. He wisely remembered what his father once told him, "If you don't know the answer, it is safer to keep mum than to open your mouth and let the world know what an idiot you are !!"
He kept mum.

--------------------------
They met again next morning.
"So what did you think of the class"
"It was informative. I never knew there were so many technicalities. Wonder how could people figure out such stuff without anyone telling them"
Helen burst into laughter.....even Archie was surprised how could he say something like this to a girl.
"You are funny", Helen said and left. Helen reminded him so much of Bets except that Bets would never speak to him so candidly as she did.

Next day, Junglee comes in again.
"Oye hero"
Knowing it would be him, Archie turns back
"Kya be hero hai tu..hain ??Saala ch****a. Chal kal class main tu mast tel maarke jayega aur mid-parting karega and games period main mere saamne tu Helen ko ek gulab ka phool dega aur bolega 'I Love you' "
Knowing he has little chance of arguement, Archie accepts.

Next day, he comes in looking like a joker with mid-parted oiled hair.
"What happened to you", remarked Helen
"Nothing..just for a change"
He dare not say anything.
In the games period, he too hesitant steps towards her...hiding the rose behind his back..Helen was reading her book. Junglee was watching from the sidelines.
"Hey Helen"
"Hi Archie"
"I love you", and he hands the rose to her
Helen is shocked..."What did you say ? You love me.....you know what....that was a very sick way to propose and by your terrified looks, it looks like you have been forced to do it !!"
"Oh yes, I have been. But how did you know ?"
"Firstly, I do have an interest in human psychology and how facial expressions denote the inner feelings. I did do a summer project in this area just out of sheer curiosity. And secondly, our face is a dead giveaway....one of the easiest to read. And besides you are not the type of guy who would do it"
Archie was offended by the last line.
"What do you mean ?"
"Well, from what you have old me, you come from a conventional background where all things are seen in Black and White completely ignoring the fact that they are black and white only in a particular context and seldom in entirety. I know what you think of me. You think I am a nymphomaniac and you are still wondering how could I be the topper. You were probably brought up to believe that toppers were sincere and impeccably behaved"
Archie was dumbfounded. He could sense that she was being frank and genuine and perhaps a tinge of regret. "Precisely", he murmured.
"Thats the problem you see. How I grasp the concepts has absolutely no relation to what I speak. Everybody speaks just that the way I do is a bit indecent. Thats all. I bet you can't give me one good reason why behaviour is correlated with academic success."
Archie scratched his head. He hated situations when he had no answer. To cover up for his ignorance, he said, "Not any I could think at the moment"
Helen just smirked and said "Okay, forget it. Who sent you by the way ? Junglee"
Stunned and hesitant, Archie nodded.
"That bas***d doesn't have the balls to propose but keeps bugging me with these stupid pranks. And why don't you guys stand up for yourself. How long will you take this crap from him. Be a man !!"
"Be a man".....those words were ringing in his ears. He felt himself drawn to Helen despite she being everything he had never wanted. He almost forgot Betty.

When he came to the hostel, his pager showed a message. It was from Betty.

Hi Arch,

I could not wait to tell you this. Guess what happened. I am no longer a virgin. Surprised at my cockiness !! I can easily imagine you squirming. But you know what, I am not ashamed of it. On the contrary, I feel relieved. I know you can't believe me telling you this but you are my best friend and I wanted to share this excitement with you. I am coming home for Christmas. See you then and share more.

So, did you get lucky ?

Cheers,
Bets

Now, Arch and Bets had been the best of friends and ofcourse Bets was unaware of his crush. Archie's hidden feelings were aggravated. He wondered why the world around him was changing so fast and why every belief that he had clung on so faithfully was being shattered.

Next Part: What happens when Archie meets Bets ? Does he propose Bets or Helen or neither ? What about Junglee ? More dope in the next part...stay tuned :)

ऐसी अपनी wife हो

Found this old complilation somewhere....me thinks

5'8" जिसकी height हो,
Jeans जिसकी tight हो,
चेहरा जिसका bright हो,
Weight में थोड़ी light हो,
उमर में difference slight हो,
थोड़ी सी वोह quiet हो,
ऐसी अपनी Wife हो...

सड़क पे सब कहे, क्या sight हो,
भीड़ में चले तो सब कहे, side हो, side हो,
India की पैदाइश हो,
सास-ससुर की सेवा जिसकी ख्वाइश हो,
ऐसी अपनी Wife हो...

पडोसी जब बात करे तो हाथ में knife हो,
Dinner candle light हो,
दोनो में ना कभी fight हो,
मिलने के बाद दिल delight हो,
हे प्रभु, तेरी अर्चना उसकी life ho,
यह कविता पढ़ के सब कहे
"गुरू तुम right हो,"
ऐसी अपनी Wife हो...

काश यह concept ०.१ percent भी right हो,
अगर ऐसी अपनी Wife हो,
तो क्या हसीन life हो,
हर किसी की यही फ़रमाइश हो,
कुदरत की भी आज़माइश हो,
खुदा के software में भी, Bug की ना गुंजाईश हो,
ए काश कहीँ तो एक ऐसी पैदाइश हो,
ऎसी अपनी Wife हो...

My take: Polygamy is illegal in India.....take your pick [:P]

Kudiyon ka hai zamana

No....this is not about the HAHK song

The inspiration was a candid chat session with a dear friend AG
Some excerpts:

Me: weekend pe kya kar rahi ho ?
AG: yahi movie dekhne ka plan hai
Me: kaun si ?
AG: Naqaab
Me: Naam bhi nahin suna is movie ka
AG: arey free main dekhne ko mil rahi hai to kya bura hai
Me: Bahut ameer dost hain tumhare
AG: waise tum is baat ko kyun bhool jaate ho ki free mein movie, shopping etc. ka hak sirf ladkiyon ka hota hai :p

Clincher......jealous admiration follows !!

So very true.....makes me wonder....if it is right to call it a man's world !!

I am thinking of a sex change.......naaah too much trouble....may be next life :)

पोस्ट न: 50

आज ये इस ब्लोग पर मेरी पचासवीं पोस्ट है | जब मैंने लिखना शुरू किया था तब ये बस एक टाइमपास था मेरे लिए लेकिन अब मुझे लिखने में मज़ा आने लगा है | गूगल भैया कि कृपा से अब ये भी मालूम पढ़ जाता है कि मेरे ब्लोग को कितने लोग और कहॉ कहॉ से पढ़ते हैं | उम्मीद है कि आगे भी पोस्टों कि संख्या में दिन दूनी रात चौगुनी तरक्की हो | वैसे तो मुझे सभी पोस्ट्स प्यारी हैं लेकिन इस पोस्ट से मुझे विशेष प्यार है | इसलिये नहीं क्योंकि ये मेरी कहानी है जैसा कि कुछ दोस्तो ने कहा है परंतु इसलिये क्योंकि इसे लिखते वक़्त मेरे हाथ टाईप करते हुए रुके नहीं | मेरी आज तक कि सबसे spontaneous पोस्ट |

वैसे ये हिंदी में ब्लोग टाईप करने में मज़ा आ गया | इस मौक़े पे गूगल कि शान में कुछ अर्ज़ किया है....सुना हुआ हो तो बुरा ना मानें :
ॐ गूग्लाय नमः
ॐ जय गूगल हरे
जय हो गूगल देवता की

Random update

I am back after a long hiatus....largely imposed on me against my will. All this time a lot has happened.
On the academic front, I am half done with my Masters Degree and things are looking good now :). I know what I have to do for my thesis and who is gonna be on my committee. So I have the luxury to pace myself accordingly. There are going to be no more tough subjects and research can get more attention. Ofcourse it would take just one wrong thing for all of this to come crashing down !!

And what did I do to celebrate...something very typical of me....hogged and hogged...so much so that for the first time since coming to US, I frequented the loo more than necessary. And ofcourse the next day, I paid the price by mowing the lawn.

Also, quite a few strange things have been happening recently. Lately, I have been talking to a lot of strangers for no reason. I have been sleeping at any time of the day and sitting on my a** for most part. I am averaging a movie every two days which will rank among the highest averages i have ever had. This at a time when I must have been working real hard !! God save me ! Actually he has till now.

That was what was a month ago..

Cut to today...

I am in UK for my 3 month internship..
What that effectively means is:

• I still sit on my @$$ for the most part....the difference is that it is in a office in front of a computer running simulations all day...sigh !!!
• I wake up at 6 am everyday.....the last time I did that was way back in Class X
• I am eating a hell lot of cookies and Maggie
• I am in the office for the most part of the day...leave home at 7:30 am and get back at 8:30 pm. Khaane tak ka tempo nahin rehta hai...blog likhne ka kahan se hoga !! Despite that, I like this life more than the student life. Atleast you have the weekends to yourself !!
• I get to work in a corporate environment for the first time though it does not feel like one. Everyone is pretty chilled out...we have one hour lunch break....not to forget the recommended free coffee breaks every hour and ofcourse we can wear jeans and T-shirt to office...super cool [:D]
• The amount of caffeine and chocolate in my blood has reached astronomical highs.....come to think of it, I now drink more coffee than i used to drink water in Indian summer.
• My engineering skills are being put to test...finally !!
• I have been living like a well behaved kid most of the time.....late to bed and early to rise....no nightouts.....very few parties....and so on and so forth

Now some things about staying in Shilpa Shetty's UK. Believe it or not, she is far more popular than Amitabh Bachchan here !! It is easy to see that life in UK is very similar to that in India unlike US. You can cross roads wherever you want, light switches go on when pressed down, buses and trains are the cheapest modes of transport, left side is the right side when you drive, the roads are not bigger than those in India....favourite weekend pastime in small towns here is to get together in the neighbourhood and have a nice chit chat. Only difference is when you go to a pub, you will find grandmums drinking beer !!

Ofcourse living in Oxford has its own advanatges.....london is just an hour by train so you can actually go in the morning and come back in the evening without worrying too much about where to stay. And ofcourse tours to nearby places can be arranged very easily. I like every bit of it !!

Ok....thats enough for now....incase anyone is interested in looking at ma pics, they are here.

The evolution of Archie - II

Archie finally lands in the school of his choice, looking all gawky with his well oiled hair, abdominal fat, toothy smile and his all imposing spectacles. He is surprised when he sees guys roaming around in uniforms which showed no signs of tidyness. On seeing the length of the gals' skirt, his jaw dropped so low that it threatened to leave his face. Not that he would mind it. He was happy that he was getting a chance to make up for all that he could not do earlier. This was a new setting. Most of the gang chose to be at home rather than shift place. He and Dilton were among the few who had shifted.

First day in class and he arrives, all excited, as usual all impeccably dressed. As soon as he enters the class, he encounters curious looks all around with everyone seem t be asking "Where did this joker come from ?"Again embarassed(apparently he was embarassed whenever an opportunity beckoned), he decides that enough is enough. He calls up his Local Guardian and goes to get a new sleek pair of spects and get a shaving kit. The bathroom that he used was shared by 16 guys. He gets up at 3 am in the morning to avoid anyone looking at him while he shaves( the facial hair u pervert !!) for the first time. He puts his milton bottle in his school bag and arrives trying to look all cool with the bag dangling on one shoulder.

The next day was his first ragging session. The seniors had called up 16 people in his room. His newly clean shaven look immediately stood him out. "Oye chikne aage aa"..trembling terrified he walks forward.
"Do you m******ate?"
He did not know what the hell they were asking so he just kept silent. This had enraged the seniors and one of them with an imposing built and an ultra deep baritone, whom ppl referred to as 'Junglee' hollered at him. He was about to pee in his pants. Only later did he learn that if he had, he would not have been the first one. Apparently even the warden had done the same when faced with that guy. The sudden news of a principal visit saved him. But not without a warning ki "Kal shaam tak sab m*******tion pe ek essay likh ke Junglee ko jaakar denge". Archie looks at the dictionary meaning of the word and then suddenly it all dawns on him. "Chee kitne gande log hain" was what he thought. Nevertheless, he did it as diligently as any other classwork.

Archie's hostel was just opposite the girl's hostel. Every evening both boys and girls would walk down the school campus and more than looks were exchanged ;). In the evening, all 16 in Archie's floor would gather in the room opposite the girls hostel and hope to catch someone on the window. In school, Archie often used to go to Betty's house after his tuition and stand on the roadside stall to catch a glimpse of her. He too began doing that not to mention the extra effort he would put in for the evening walk...not that it mattered but he still tried :D

Next day comes a revelation.
"Abe pata hai uske room ke upar french teacher ka room hai"
"To"
"Abe dhakkan to uske bathroom ke upar uska bathroom hai samjha....raat ko aa jaana...samjhe [;)]"
Now, he had never been part of any voyeurism. Ofcourse, he did not want to say No and make himself the odd man. Nervous, he reaches the room on time. There is already 16 of them there.
"Shhhhhhh.....dheere chalo...awaaz nahin honi chahiye."
"Ok AS, you are the lightest....Climb on this rod and see through that hole and tell us ki kya ho raha hai"
AS climbs up...he is short so he cannot reach the hole...he stretches and finally reaches it.
"Kuch saaf nahin dikh raha hai but bathroom zaroor dikh raha hai"
Hustle bustle and all excitement....
Suddenly the rod snaps and AS is on top of us.....everyone quickly rushes out....Archie tries to act normal but he wasn't.

Next morning, the warden(Oxy) comes to his room and asks "Woh us room ka rod kaun toda"
Everyone silent
"Dekho mujhe pata hai ki tum log wahan kya kar rahe the....main bhi 5 saal se yahan warden hoon...bata do to bach jaoge warna....."
Everyone silent
"Archie!!!!"
"Yes.s.s.s. Sir"
"Maine nahin kiya Sir...main to yahin padh raha tha...10 baje light band kar di thi maine"
"Sach bol rahe ho"
"H-a-h-a-a-a-n Sir"
"Main sabko dekh raha hoon...koi gadbad hui to sabki complain principal se karoonga...sab suspend hoge"

Archie kept a low profile for a month. Later, the school was declared closed for summer vacations. Archie was delighted....he would be meeting all the old gang- Jugs, Betty, Dilton, Big ethel and all.

3 months later when he returned, he was greeted by his new room partners - Reggie and Anc. Both were cool dudes, thoroughly city bred, trying to prove to Archie that they are the boss. A month later, all three of them were buddies. Archie by then had had enough ragging sessions. He could not quit school for his dad was spending a fortune getting him educated there. So he did what the seniors said. He was never so much of a rebel. He had sworn umpteen times, 'described' his classmates to his seniors as asked, had proposed senior girls - sometimes when asked by seniors and sometimes himself pretending to be sent by seniors. He was a movie buff so every week or the other, he, reggie and Anc would go for a movie telling the warden that they had 'extra classes'. In the meanwhile, all three of them had also joined IIT coaching. Reggie, being the rich dad's son, was about to immigrate to Canada. For him, life was one big party. Anc tried to act cool when Reggie was around and when he was not, he became the epitome of sincerity. Archie, except for the occasional movie, would stick to his books mostly. In the coaching, he befriended some more guys- Arnie and Maddy. Arnie was a typical case of confused identity. He always acted like a 'stud', seeming to be all knowledgeable when he was not while Maddy was more down-to-earth. Meanwhile. one new roommate had joined Archie's room - Pat. Now, Pat's dad was a politician and he was far too well built for Archie to raise any arguement with him. Pat knew this and used it to full advantage as he made Archie his bunny.

One day, Reggie decides to go to this theatre in CP. He asks da gang to join in. Archie was always ready for a movie but this time he agreed without knowing which 'movie' and which 'theatre'. When they reach the theatre and Archie looks at the poster - he is nervous.
"Abe kaun si movie le aaye ho...kisi ne dekh liya to marenge achche se"
"Abe kaun dekhega....fattu saala"
"Chal bagal se kuch khaa pee ke aate hain"
They go to the restauant next door. Guess who they meet there - Reggie's dad. Now, Archie is again embarassed as always.
"Arey tum log yahan....kya kar rahe ho"
"Aise hi ghoomne firne aaye the uncle"
"To ghoom liya...chalo main hostel chhod deta hoon"

End of Masti 101.

In the night, Pat comes to Reggie and Anc and says
"Dekh be kya laaya hoon...mast hai...and he hands a magazine"
Stifled laughters follow....Archie is curious....comes over to look.....the object of affection was a magazine called "Men's world"....ironically there were hardly any men in it !!
"Le tu bhi padh le"
"Nahin abhi nahin baad main abhi homework karna hai"
laughters around
"Abe gadhe...dekh le....kuch nahin hone wala...homework se zyaada interesting hai"
"Tujhe to dikha ke hi chhodenge beta Archie"
"Kya hoga be dekh ke"
"Abe dekh le pehle fir bolna ki kuch hua ki nahin" (laughing)

Archie had a test the next day. Unlike in school, he did not study two weeks before the exam. The dual burden of classes and coaching and the resultant deluge of tests had made a once exam-fearing Archie to an exam-indifferent one. But some things did not change....and one was sleeping early before exams. However, his roommates had other plans. When he went for a bath, they kept the magazine on his desk and stationed themselves outside the room so that Archie cannot see them. When Archie comes back, he is shocked. He looks around but does not find anyone. He decides to have a peek. Soon, the control centre had shifted from the head to the lower half. He heads straight to the bathroom. Ofcourse when he comes out, the whole gang is there. The next day Archie cracks the test and the rest as they say is history !!

Meanwhile his love life was still screwed up.....so what happened to that ? Wait for part III :)

The 'B' theory

For the good part of past week, I was in a self-imposed exile from Y! and Gtalk. So when I logged in today, one of my kgp buddies caught hold of me. Now, we have had long conversations back then as we hardly had anything to do in our final semmester. Lately, we haven't been talking as much as we should be. After the usual kaise ho, kuch naya taaza and job questions, the converstion drifted to the hot topic at this stage of life - Bandi OR Girl friend. When he was in kgp, he used to crib about the apparent lack of 'samples' but now that he is in the hip-hop city of Bangalore, he has become Kishan Kanhaiya [;)]. And ofcourse when two kgpians talk after long there is going to be a lot of garbage talk or 'Bhaat' as it is called. But today's conversation, though garbage, was actually a bit interesting. Read this(S: me, G: him):

G: Abe pata hai kal hum logon ne ek nayi scientific discovery kari
S: Kya be tu einstein ka pota kabse ho gaya
G: Nahin be humne ek B theory invent kari hai
S: B bole to Bakc***i
G: Hat be..B bole to Bandi
S: Ahaa.....bherry interesting...batao batao
G: Maine kuch aur logon ke saath milke ye observe kiya hai bandiyan unhi ke paas hoti hain jinke paas 3 B hote hain
S: Matlab...3 bandiyan hogi tabhi ek aur milegi....saale discovery kari to woh bhi itni bakwaas....aur ise tu achcha kah raha tha...teri to !@#$
G: Abe sun to pehle poora fir maarna
S: Chal suna
G: Abhi humne 5 B dhoonde hain aur agar in 5 B main se 3 hain tumhare paas to tumhare paas bandi zaroor hogi
S: Achcha....aur ye 5 B kya hai gurudev
G: Pehla B hai Bike....agar tumhare pas bike nahin hai to bandi patane ka koi chance nahin hai
S: Achcha aur doosra
G: Doosra B hai baal.....tumhare sir pe baal hone chahiye
S: Teesra
G: Beer....tumhe beer maarna chahiye
G: Chautha B hai B.tech from IIT
S: (Me smiling :) )
G: Aur paanchwa sabse killer hai
S: Bata na
G: Tumhe bevkoof hona chahiye
S: Matlab tu bevkoof hai :P
G: Haan....but tere pas 3 hone chahiye minimum
S: Abe dekh main IIT se hoon aur mere sir pe baal hain aur main beer bhi maar leta hoon to mere bhi bandi honi chahiye but hai nahin....dekh teri hypothesis galat hai
G: Abe ek assumption that....ye sirf India main hi valid hai....international pe kaam chal raha hai ...tu india aake bike le lega to teri bhi bandi ho jayegi :P
S: Saaale.....!@#$
G: Hai na interesting ;)


On second thoughts, I found this theory to be true....about interesting....I leave that upto you to find out.

The evolution of Archie - I

DISCLAIMER: All characters are real and any similarity to any living person(no one is dead) is purely intentional. If you are one of the characters, I am sorry for any embarassment.

Circa 1997:

There was a boy called Archie.

Archie is in Class VIII. He is a shy guy who would never make the first move even if a Ms. World were to stand next to him. His spectacles cover atleast 40% of is face. You could smell the Keo karpin in his hair from 10 ft. away, which were perfectly combed always. Immaculately dressed, thanks to the diligence of his mother who ensured he wore an ironed pair of clothes and shining polished black shoes, he sits in the second bench. He maintains a studied silence on his face as if pondering on everything thats going wrong in the world. His antique behaviour made him an easy prey for leg pulling by other guys. His voice had just begun to change...in the transition zone between child like sweet to male cacophony. When he speaks, its like a Bajaj '90 make scooter is going at 60 kmph without a silencer. His face is showing the first signs of hair sprouting...a sprouting so uneven that it would put even the roads of bihar to shame. Still the girls talk to him and some even like him. Probably they have lost their minds or are day-blind and have problems hearing or maybe they are laughing at him in private. He had a crush on his close buddy, Betty, but apparently someone had spread the rumour around that he had the hots for Midge, whom the big guy, Moose, liked. Later, Veronica replaced Midge. As all the girls had already lost their minds, they were very curious to know who was his girl. They recruited Betty for the purpose. Now Archie was in a fix, he could not tell betty that it was her. So he kept diverting the topic everytime it came up till Bets gave up. Meanwhile, Archie had befriended Dilton, a geek, who was even quiter than him. Their commonality other than being quiet, was a crush on Betty.

His academic life wasn't great either. For some unfortunate reason, he is the cynosure of every teacher who come in and whatever he does is heavily scrutinised. When the school gets over, he carries his 3 year old school bag and a Milton water bottle and heads straight to his bus. He is worried that the maths teacher has announced a Class test two weeks later and he has only finished revising the course. He decides he needs to put in more effort to ace the test. A day before the test, he calls up his best bud Jug.

"Jug, I haven't solved all examples for this test. What do I do? I am nervous...my palms are sweating"
Jug, being the cool dude, replies "Dude, you are doing good. I haven't even finished my course forget revising."

Not satisfied, he calls up his nearest competitor, Betty, whom he had a crush on,
"Hi betsy, how are the test preparations? "
"Yeah doing okay...just about finished the course"

Next he calls up Veronica- "Hi Ron, howz it going for the test"
"Don't ask dude, i can't figure out most of the things"

Archie is visibly calmed now as he has now figured out that he isn't doing bad !!
That was perhaps an understatement of the confidence he had in his abilities. Not that he was a bad student but still it was his second nature.

Archie was as innocent as a daisy. He still does not know how he came in this world. He thinks he is God-sent. Not his fault when all you watch is Mahabharat and Chandrakanta. He does not know what 'sleeping with' can mean to people and uses it freely and frequently landing himself in embarassing situations without even realising that. A year later when Dilton clears all his fundae about the 'birds and the bees', he is embarassed beyond measure and whenever he meets a girl/relative with whom he used 'slept with', he just flees at the very sight like a dog would run if an exploding cracker were tied to its tail.

A year later, Archie aces his board examination and lands at a prestigious school in the national capital, a stark contrast from his protected upbringing in a sleepy town. How will he cope ? What happens to Betty?

Its been.....

Apparently, my last post drew some sharp responses....some felt it was utter crap, one thought I am venting my frustration, one thought i was confused, but one thing is clear - I suck when I have to conjure up my feelings into a rational post. Well if i could do that, I would have been a writer or a columnist [:D]. So let me stick to what I do best...stating the facts !! I have cribbed about missing things here in US. So here is a list of that and a bit more...Its been:

• 8 months since I have had rotis...i have to make do with tortillas and frozen paranthas
• 11 months since i last played 29
  
• 11 months since someone(usually kadir) pulled up a fast one on me
• 1 month since i hit the gyn regularly for 3 days
• 3 weeks since i haven't ..........[;)][;)][;)][;)][;)][;)]
• 3 months since my last transaction in real 'cash' money
• 1 month since i ate out
• 3 days since i logged on to gtalk
• 1 month since i had a nightout
• 6 months since had a nightout for exams/studies
• 1 month since i have had 'tea'
• 8 months in US
• 11 months since i gave someone a bear hug
  
• 7 months since my last shopping spree
• 3 months since i bought my last electronic item
• 10 months since i hit the road on a bike
  
• 1 week since i haven't called home
• 3 months since i last went out of Austin
• 1 month since i cooked chicken
• 10 days since i have been continuously listening to Raaga Top 10
• 10 months since i downloaded music
• 12 months since i last saw my niece
• 1 month since i took a shower before 12 noon
• 2 months since i haven't had dal or a proper lunch. Lately I have been having boiled eggs and meal replacement bars for lunch.
  
• 7 years since I haven't screwed one paper in each semmester. The last time I was completely happy with the way my papers went was Class X board exams. Since then, I have always without fail screwed up something or the other in each and every exam worth mentioning that I have given.
• 1 month since i last washed my jeans and 2 weeks since i last washed my clothes
• 2 weeks since i last called up a friend
• 2 months since i have gone downtown even though its a 30 min. walk or a 7 min. ride from my home. Last trip was for 'Mardi gras'
  

Lately, I have begun to enjoy my solitud even more....a heavy drop in enth for life.....this is reflected in me liking Pankaj Udhas and Jagjit Singh Gazals. Have visited didi's home once every two weeks...searched for a new apartment for next year....took some big decisions...don't feel like logging on messenger....don't feel like scrapping anyone unless someone scrapped me first....drastically reduced my expenses....have taken to blogging more.

And before u jump to any conclusion, I am not depressed or committing suicide !! Thats just my current state of mind.

Time to finish up pending assignment and the research report...adios !!

Proposal Musings

This is not meant to start yet another 'Hum-Tum' but just for the heck of it !! The inspiration of this post is eM whose blog I have begun following lately and also the fact that lately i have been hearing of people suffering from heartburns !! If only all men in the world were as blessed as Nick(Mel Gibson) was in 'What women want' then what a place the world would be. Only that isn't true.

Now this got me thinking...lets suppose that everyone of us was as blessed as Nick. So what would it look like. My fecund imagination, biased by some real life examples, came up with the following. If a guy were to propose a girl (Yeah, its always the guy, I never heard any girl propose), this is what the response is gonna be and this is what both of them would be thinking. Ofcourse this is valid only when the answer has not been 'YES' :

"Tum mere achche dost ho bas aur kuch nahin"
Guy: Arey Shahrukh ka dialogue nahin suna kya KKHH main ki pyar dosti hai
Gal: Tum bhi !! Sab ladke ek jaise ho !@#$

"I need more time"
Guy: Haan theek hai aaraam se jawaab dena budhaape main....jaldi batana nahin hota hai !!
Gal: hey bhagwaan, kaise aur tarkaon ise...kahin chipak na jaaye

"Tumhe mere se achchii bahut mil jayengi"
Guy: But mujhe to tum chahiye..tum kyun nahin !!
Gal: Kaash tumne mujhse thoda jaldi kaha hota....ab bahut der ho chuki hai !!

"I want to concentrate on my career"
Guy: Kyun main taang adaonga kya
Gal: Tumhare jaise backward khyal wale ke saath kaise rahoongi !!

"I don't know"
Guy: What !! If not you then who...ur paodsan !!
Gal: Gosh...how do i say 'no' without hurting him

"Ask my parents, if they agree yes"
Guy; Theek hai fir shaadi bhi unse hi kar leta hoon
Gal: Main bahut aalsi hoon...tum hi saari mehnat karo...mujhe koi fark nahin padta !!

"Abhi main busy hoon"
Guy: Nahin hum to lukkhe loafer hain
Gal: Is gadhe se milna band karna padega warna ye to peeche hi pad jayega

"This is not the right time"
Guy: There is never a right time
Gal: Mujhe abhi bachche nahin chahiye

"Hum ek doosre ko theek se jaante bhi nahin"
Guy: To jaan lo...kisne roka hai
Gal: Main kaun si wali hoon...pehli..doosri...teesri

"Main kisi aur se pyaar karti hoon"
Guy: Kaun hai..kahan hai....abhi tapkaate hain
Gal: Bade besharam ho..mujhe pro maarte hue sharam nahi aayi...bhai se kehkar tumhe udwa doongi

"Main kisi aur ki mangetar hoon"
Guy: Arey shaadi to nahin hui hai na...lagta hai filmein nahin dekhti ho
Gal: Lagta hai bahut filemin dekhte ho...na tum aamir khan ho aur na main preity zinta !!

"Main shaadi shuda hoon"
Guy: Arey bahut divorce hote hain aajkal...ek aur ho jayega to kya fark pad jayega
Gal: Agar mere haath main bandook hoti to main tera khoon kar deti

"Tum mere bhai saman ho"
Guy: Ye nayi nautanki hai....kal tak to nahin tha...waah...chalo ek paap aur sahi.....waise bhi kaun sa swarg jaata !!
Gal: Abe samajh na....kato meri life se...tumhare jaise bahut dekhe hain

"Tumhari himmat kaise hui mujhe propose karne ki....(zordaar chanta)"
Guy:Propose hi to kiya hai koi r**e thode hi kiya hai
Gal: !@#$%Z^

"Tum hote kaun ho mujhe propose karne wale"
Guy: Tumhare hone wale bachche ka baap
Gal: Ek aur sadak chaap romeo....kya karoon in namoono ka

Comic relief apart, here is the true story of a dear friend. He was in love with his childhood friend. He proposed...she dilly-dallied but finally relented to his persistence but put a condition her parents have to agree. He has perfectly valid reasons not to marry now but still my friend meets her parents and she does not say a word for him in front of her family. Then she comes fourth, yes fourth, in class and blames him for her poor performance and breaks up as if there was anything. Man can only bend so much in love !! There is one more strange thing I noticed. You will never find a boy sharing his deepest feelings with someone whom he doesn't like. But for girls, they can love another man and be the conscience of another. Its not the guy's fault if he falls for his best friend. Infact, if i were to ever fall for a girl, it would most definitely be my best friend. Only problem is all who qualify are not single :D.

Haan bhai ab bas bahut ho gaya...post padh ke samajh main aa gaya hoga ki is samay meri dimaagi haalat theek nahin hai....hell lot of confusion !!

Ab kat lo !!

The Three things....

Looks like knowing yourself is the flavour of the month....but actually, this is very therapeutic....i recommend putting down a list


Three things that scare me:
- Ramsay Horror Movies
- Goon with a weapon
- Accidents

Three people who make me laugh:
Anybody literally....my wingies say that if I don't laugh at a joke, nobody will [:)]

Things I love:
- Travelling
- Good food
- Being on a lonely beach
- Gorgeous women [;)]
- Being pampered

Three things I hate:
- Disorder/Chaos more than acceptable
- Haughtiness
- 'Chipku' people

Three things I don't understand:
- What women want( Deserves a blog post)
- Judgmental people
- Why I am what I am

Three things on my desk:
- My laptop
- A paperweight of Vaishno Devi
- A Diary

Three things I'm doing right now :
- Missing India
- Getting my reservoir model to work
- Sleeping less

Three things I want to do before I die:
- Travel to all continents
- Buy a Mercedes
- Holiday in Peter Island
- Zip off in a super-bike at 300 kmph

Three things you should listen to:
- The voice in your head
- Kishore Kumar - he has a song for all moods
- National Anthem

Three things you should never listen to:
- The 'other' voice in your head
- Guddu Rangeela
- Politicians :D

Three things I'd like to learn:
- To cook like my mother
- Salsa Dancing
- Swimming

Favorite foods:
- Rasgulla
- Tandoori Chicken
- Chaat
- Besan/Boondi ka laddoo
- Paneer

Three beverages I drink regularly:
- Water
- Hot Chocolate
- Cold Coffee

Three TV shows I watched as a kid:
- Mahabharat
- Jasoos Karamchand
-Chitrahaar/Rangoli

The aftermath

Fresh from the recent discovery that my blog is being shown as a p**n blog in google searches, I have resolved to mention all unmentionables discreetly. However, I shall not edit the previous ones or I would be robbed of some hilarious searches, which the pervert in me enjoys. Anyways, thats not to drive the attention away from the main premise, which is quite easily the hottest headline in India right now - The World Cup Debacle.

This is how my emotions went through:
India-SL series: [:)]
India-Netherlands: [:)]
India-WI: [:D:D]
India-Bangladesh: !!!!! WTF
India-Bermuda: [-]
India-SL: [:))))))))))))))]

We all should be grateful to the Indian cricket team for having saved a lot of our productive time. If not for them, I am sure I would be sitting glued to cricinfo on my laptop instead of listening to the professor. My supervisor would have lost patience on me !! So I am glad Indian team has made my life a hell lot easier. Thank you all, I love you guys [:)].

Just the other day, I was talking to Anish about this. Probably, he is one guy who has got the most coverage on my blog (as if thats a coveted thing !!). To his credit, conversations with him give me most of the ideas to write this blog. So all my blogreaders, if there are any, you need to thank this guy. Here is what he told me was overheard on DC chat room back in KGP:

• "BREAKING NEWS :CHAPPEL COMMITTED SUICIDE"
• "PAKISTAN F***S INDIA IN TERRORISM .. CHINA F***S INDIA IN ECONOMY ... SRILANKA AND BANGLADESH F**K INDIA IN CRICKET... INDIA IS BEING F**KED IN ALL HOLES..."
• Sachin should go for Teerth Yatra
• mail me your resumes at marryme@sachin'swife.com
• Dhoni should go back to tennis
• BREAKING NEWS: Chappel is using his last chance to keep india in the world cup.. He is going to Coach Bangladesh..
• Pakistanis atleast had the moral responsibiliyt of killing their coach .. India doesnt even have that..
• Cricket se better to Indian politics hai .. :)
• Dravid should start acting in kannada films
• look at the bright side.. if bermuda wins .. india has six more matches to lose..

Well, when you are frustrated, this is what you come up with !!

Now I am not frustrated but I came up with some of my own....ofcouse nothing beats the collective might of KGP frustiyaapa :D..here is my version of what might happen:

• Carribean realtors have been approached for 17 homes in a non-indian locality. 16 applicants are Indian and 1 is an Australian
• Actors of the calibre of Siddharth Koirala have been approached by leading cola brands to endorse their products.....apparently, Bachchans and Khans have also been suddenly deluged with endorsement offers
  
• Due to security threats, Kim Sharma and Rakshanda Khan have asked for more security
• Sunil Gavaskar has decided never to go back to australia again
• BCCI is planning a cricket tour to Equitorial Guinea to avoid further embarassment
• Patni computers has apparently recieved some job applications from people claiming 'cricket management' as their experience
• Krish Srikkanth has become the most sought after now, with all news channels jostling to get some bytes from him
  
• Police arrested some people for burning the effigy of Mulayam singh and shouting "Dravid Chapell hai hai....bhartiya cricket team hai hai....tendulkar isteefa do !!". When quizzed, those guys were from Tamil Nadu and could not converse in Hindi....they also did not know whose effigy thery were burning !!
• Somnath Chatterjee adjourns Lok Sabha for the third time in three days with members demanding entire cricket team to 'take moral responsibilty and resign'
• Selectors announce the cricket team for the WC 2011 - Lalu Yadav is the captain, Here are the rest - AB Vajpai, LK Advani, NS Sidhu, R Gandhi, M Deora, L Yadav, A Jaitley, S pawar are some of the members
• Police chiefs have expressed inability to tackle crime citing personnel shortage
  
• Reportedly, India Inc. has offered each Bangladeshi player a package of 10 crores to lose their match against Bermuda.....there have been other offers as well....with this much money, some players are seriously considering retirement at age 17
• Apparently, some profile by the name of MS Dhoni has been put up at Shaadi.com.....matrimonial only says "Ek ladki chahiye"...infact online matrimony sites have reported a sudden surge in profiles where occupation was "Cricket"
  
• The shop where Dhoni cut his hair has been vandalised !!
• IIM A has prepared a case study on Indian team Debacle
• After Chapell claimed of inflammation, several hospitals have approached him with analgesics.
  
• Google reported "Cricket" as the most searchable word for the past week

Update: Here is a nice article saying why India going out of WC is good !!

Amazing google !!

Its just been a week since I made google track my blog readers. And the results have been interesting to say the least !! I will let you make a judgement !!

Here are some sample searches that led to my blog:

• firangi raand
• raand ki photo
• my haath jagannath means
• kya-photo-hai
• dreams dabbuji
• daalo pic
• haath dabaye
• ek choti si love story
• god damn schlumberger
• india vs texas size
• indian +desi comics+forums nagraj "comic
• articles on 27% reservation in elite institutions
• thoughts on studying in co-ed colleges in INDIA
• suryavinash
• dhawansaab
• thoughts on i love my india
• indianism
  

Now imagine the frustration of the guys who landed on my blog for the first three searches !! They wouldn't be amused. Now, google isn't at fault. I did use those words but in an entirely different context. I seriously pity the guy who searched the first one.....when i saw this, I was in splits !! No wonder when you search 'miserable failure' on google, George bush's name pops up.

Good work google....some comic relief !!

Discovering myself

I don't know what prompted me to write this post - insanity or joblessness or inspiration !! Actually a bit of each. I am a bit insane and currently due to spring break I am jobless. So when I read a blog listing some interesting and unknown things about them, I thought I might as well come up with my own list !! Ofcourse, this is what I don't mind others knowing. The real secret ones shall remain secret :P. So here it is:

• I love spending time with myself in a uite retreat
• I love food..if its tasty...i give a damn to calories !!
• I have never tried any drugs or smoke
• I drink socially now......first brush was at Hall fresher party
• I do not like pets
• I love travelling
• I am really mean and irritable at times
• I like things to be in some kind of order
• I hate people messin around with me when I am not in the mood
• I love talking about myself
• I feel blessed
• My parents are my Rock of Gibraltar
• I love chic-flicks and bollywood masala movies
• I only read sef-help books, biographies of great men and suspense thrillers
• I follow Bollywood gossip keenly
• I had a major operation and my first brush with death at 10 months...14 stitches in my stomach still bear testimony to the fact
• I had my second brush with death a year later when I and my parents were involved in a car accident
• Due to some allergy, i was on constant medication till Class VIII
• I took the fish medicine in Hyderabad for asthma cure
• I am the most pampered kid in my family
• I was so unusually quite as a kid that some of my relatives called me "bhondu"
• I used to bite hard people whom I didn't like as a kid...and I had a pretty long casualty list for my parents to be a worried lot
• I was very naughty once I started going to school....my mother recieved a complaint almost everday
• I used to cry a lot when I was a kid
• My nana and my father have had the greatest influence on my thinking
• I grew up wanting to be as admired as my nana
• I hated it when people attributed every little success i had in school to my genes
• That led to a brief period of going astray....stealing, lying, abusing and the likes...this was in Class V
• My dream is to one day own a Mercedes and Ferrari and honeymoon in Hawaii and Peter Island
• I do not like nails...i cut them almost everyday
• A lovely smile is the first thing that attracts me to women
• I think I am a bit of a pervert
• My first crush was in Class V whom I followed to her home
• I get attracted to almost every decent looking woman
• I have never had a girlfriend
  
• I was a big fan of Nagraj and Super Commando Dhruv
• I spent a large chunk of my summer holidays reading comics, plying videogames and cricket
• I am not much of a sports-person
• I am an Internet addict
• My favourite snacks include paranthas, samosas, jalebi, rasgulla, imarti, kandi ki chaat...i have a terrible sweet tooth !!
  

Nostalgia

Nostalgia....ahh....the most wonderful thing.

How even the most innocuous things can strike a chord. When alumni insisted on being interviewed in a roadside chai stall like Cheddis, it sounded weird. Its not until you feel the need to 'belong' do you realise the true power of nostalgia. Sometime back, anish sent me the trailer of CFM productions(for those who are wondering about CFM, read this) which was enticing. Have a look.

The part-1 of he movie definitely lives up to the expectations. Watch it.



Goodwork anna....you made me say...this is where i grew up, this is where i belong !!

CFM rulzzzzz.......period ! period ! period !!

Happy birthday to me !!

Today is meant to be a special day. After all, its my birthday yaar !! Some 23 years(so u know my age now) ago, one more addition to the already burgeoning population of human species took place when yours truly opened his eyes to the world.

Ok, enough drama. I always wondered what makes this day special. When I was a kid, this meant buying a new dress, cajoling my parents for a new gift which they then readily relented and wearing that new dress to school. That day I would be the centre of attraction. Imagine being in a polka dot sweater in a sea of white shirts, grinning ear to ear and everyone looking at you expectantly.....actualy they wanted the chocolates i would distribute later on :D. Now, this chocolate distribution had another story. More chocolates was equated to being a closer friend that time. So one had to be careful and yeah a bit diplomatic. After you gave everyone in the class their fair share, it was time to compensate your friends or else they would sulk. The best option was getting the same no: of chcolates as person but that was never to be. It was too much of a complication for me. During lunchtime, everyone - Amit et al would take me in one corner and try to convince me and fleece me of as much as they could. Not that I was't aware of their intentions....I did the same too on theirs[:D]. Then during the last period, the class teacher would come and everyone would stand and sing. That time, it felt awesome but looking back, i feel like laughing how the birthday boy became the birthday clown. Ofcourse, I pretty much invited half of my class to my birthday party and like shameless persons, they all came also and yeah they came with GIFTS !! That was what i was interested in. Mummy and the entire battery of servants would be busy decorating the house and ofcourse prepared a lot of yummy dishes. When everyone had their stomachful, i would sit down to open their gifts. The interesting ones, i would keep for my personal use and others I would keep in a safe place to recycle at other people's birthday. Ofcourse, i ensured that no one got the same gift he/she gave me. Those days birthday was special .

Cut to today.

The only thing that distinguishes m birthday today is some unusual activity in the phone calls and messages you recieve. To put a number to that, I got 7 ISD calls, 10 Local calls and 6 people personally wished me in college. My scrap count went up by 150 in a single day and my gmail and Y! showed 6 offline messages and voicemails. Nice to know that atleast some people would take time out to wish me....i am not that bad then !! Thank you all who wished me and those who didn't, I don't give a damn.

Bachpan ki baat kuch aur thi....now this is what my birthday means to me now:

• One more year closer to death
• One more year without a girlfriend
• One more year without having scored ;)
• One more year closer to marriage
• One more year of my youth passes away
• One more year of staying with boys
• One less year to study
• One less year to job
• One day to bath early, shave and dress properly
• One day when you smile more than u frown
• One day your long lost friend might wish you
• One day you keep saying thanks
• One day ur spending curve reaches a local maximum
  

But other than that, there as nothing special. Bansal baby was the first one to wish me...it was after my roomies heard me talk to him, it occurred to them that it was my b'day. With everybody on orkut you can't even say u forgot. Secret consultations happen in the next room while I recieve my calls. Some 15 mins. later, I am told I am supposed to cut a cake. Ahhhh, so they went to the grocery store at this time....alright !! But when I was told who went, that was like a complete stunner. Holy God, that was Amritanshu !! Now, this man works on one philosophy - If Work = Force(F)*Displacement(dx), minimize work by minimizing X. If required, he would rather shit, brush, bathe, sleep and study at the same place !! A person of such a high pedigree went at 12 in the night to get my b'day cake. I couldn't have asked for a better gift. Amritanshu again surprises me by doing the rounds of the apartment complex to get ppl into our apt. Thankfull, the cake had no cream so rest assured, my face and hair(on my head u pervert !!) wouldn't get the birthday cake. After the cake-cutting and splashing ritual is over, its time for bumps. Given my size and that of my room mates and neighbours, there was one person critical to that - Amritanshu !! If he wouldn't lift me up, no one could. For a moment, he pondered, did some calculations - found not only would he have to increase dx but also F and the W done would not be worth it. Thats way way beyond his acceptance limits. He gives up and my bum doesn't get on fire. Thanks A for everything. Slept at 2 am...didn't have a morning class so woke up late and then went through everyday routine. At 5 treated Mayank, Aviral a.k.a pelar, and navanit @ Posse. Happened to bump into my supervisor there....exchanged a smile and cut away from there. Went to didi's place.....gorged on poori and butter chicken...watched "Employee of the month" and wrote this piece of art !!

PS: And yeah my wingies gave me a gift - they posted a video of mine on public space. They think its hilarious...i beg to differ !!

Height of Silent Commuication

You know ppl talk about how being online has reduced verbal communication between people sitting nect to each other...how they prefer to scrap and IM and yada yada yada....

I witnessed a new and definitely more interesting form today.

Laziness is inherent in all of us and the only difference is in its manifestation in people. To find a cure to our laziness and involuntarism, all four roomies have split the daily tasks on a weekly basis. However, what we found out that it has made us even more lazy. The constant haggling over who hasn't done this and who has to do this has gotten us to a point where we realised that there is no point in saying and as Saurabh says "Give up ho gaya". So, he thought of an innovative way. This was what was his message was to all of us:


He pasted this scrap over the sink. Seeing this the great great Amritanshu, riding 'high' on a night of super duper TC(If don't know what this is, pm me) and hilarity and embarassment, pasted this riposte next to it:



Now that he had been challenged, how could he be left behind. Here is his response:



The best thing is that both these fellows share the same room, sleep next to each other and use the same bathroom. Both prefer to go to the kitchen sink and write rather than talking in the room. And the person reporting this, me, is in the next room clicking pictures of latest updates and ofcourse blogging about it.

IM, orkut, cellphone all take a break.....scrap papers are in [:)].

Will keep ya all updated on the latest...

I goofed up

"To err is human" is a famous quote. Let me rephrase that...if you don't make mistakes then you are not human !!

The systems in US are quite different from India and I have blogged enough about that. But still just a little more :). In India, i washed my clothes using a washing machine.No lafda-pour detergent, water and kapda-turn the knob on-put clothes into dryer-turn the knob on and done !! My apartment complex has a laundy room where you have to put 1$ in the washer and 1$ in the dryer....the annoying part is that you have to put that in loose change of 4 quarters. So every time you want to wash, you go searching for those elusive 8 quarters....sometimes even begging the padosis !! When I had to wash for the first time, i was trying to figure out what is different from india. After much deliberation ,inspection and reading instructions; I got to the conclusion that there is only one difference...kapda and detergent in but paani not in....u put quarters, it automatically coming [:D]. The moment you put the quarters in, the machine starts...no knob !! I said cool. So when I had to dry my clothes, I just put them in the dryer, put the quarters and the light turned on. However, when i cam back my clothes were still wet. "Hadd nautanki hai.....sala 1$ ka choona lag gaya", instead i spread the wet ones on the couch and let them dry. My roommates were surprised. Aditya asked, "Kya be drier nahin chal raha kya". I shook my head negative. Saurabh, as usual remarked, "Saala yahi pain rehta hai...apna desi tareeka sabse best hai". Amritanshu was obviously not interested. For that matter, he is never interested in any type of work. Weeks after week passed and i came home with a wet load everytime. I was still wondering why my room mates clothes dry and not mine. A lot of reasons:

"Ohh..the top drier is not working...need to report this to Greg"

"Too much load yaar....put less clothes"

"Change the settings.....try perm press instead of normal"

"Let them stay in the drier even after the light is off"

"Put a fabric softener"

"Try the other drier"

In the past two months, I tried almost every combination of solution that was possible and last week I decided I am no longer putting my clothes in the drier....letting them dry on the couch is cheaper and better......until something happened this evening.

Background: My roomie Saurabh is trying to wash his clothes in apartment laundry for the second time and first time by himself. How he managed so far.....well your guess is as good as mine

Saurabh(S): (to aditya)..."abe nautanki ho gaya...main dekha hi nahi ki drier main button bhi on karna hota hai...aise daal diya fir dekha kuch ho nahin raha....tab instructiopn dekha to malum pada ki button bhi dabana tha !!"

Aditya: "Aur saale use mat kar...yahi hoga mahino main jayega to "

Wait...did i hear press button in drier..

Me: (to saurabh).."Abe kya button laga rakha hai.....drier main kahe ka button"

S: "Hota hai bhai....drier ka button dabayega tabhi to chalega saale"

A: "Ek min...kahin tu har baar bina button dabaye to drier main nahin rakh aata tha"

MOMENT OF REALISATION........AND EMBARASSMENT !!
By then, everyone has realised what I had been doing all this time and they are ROTFL....I too join them [:D]

A: "Mat bol ki abhi tak tu bina button dabaye hi rakh ke aata tha...abe drier chalne ki awaaz bhi nahin aati hogi....softener bhi aisa hi rehta hoga....kabhi dekha nahin kya..instruction nahin padha kya"

Me: "Abe yaar mujhe laga ki washing machine type hi hoga...quarter daalo aur chaloo...mujhe kabhi laga nahin ki aisa bhi hoga".....(deep inside i am cursing myself for my stupidity and ofcourse the $$ i lost in the drier)

For the next 5 mins. we were all laughing our hearts out.

Lessons learnt: Always read the instructions whenever you do something new

Snowfall in Texas

When I was coming here, everyone told me that weather in Texas is just like India. May be they forgot that it can snow here too !!

And what a way to begin a new semmester....with a snowfall and an unexpected holiday.....can it get better.

See the pics here.

The goddamn goatie !!

This is the goatie that shook my world !!


When i got this pic clicked, i thought it was an innocuous photo. I like experimenting with my beard because thats the only place i can !! My first reaction was "Cool, i don't look innocent in this photo !!". I am sick and tired of being called simple and the like words. But the barrage of comments even took me by surprise. Sample some:

Nagri: "abe beta jaldi se shave kara lo ... nahi to tanul mehta jaisa haal ho jaayega, FBI wale pakad ke le jaayege aur koi chudane bhi nahi aayega

waise bhi saddam ke jaane ke baad US wale naya murga dhoond rahe hai, aur tu unke description main ek dum fit bethta hai

(* Chemical Engineer == Chemical Weapons,
* Asian == Terrorist
* Growing Beard == Extremist+Terrorist
* Going to DPS RKPuram and doing nothing == Religious Fundamentalist
) "

Ms. Rai(rather Mrs. Rai): " ohh i thought you were trying to look like a rockstar"

Vasu: " kya don ... don ko pakadna muskil hi nahin namumkin hai ...badi dhansoo photo lagai hai ..."

Anchal: " saale kaunsi gang join kar li .. :D "

Neha: "tussi to ekdum badal gaye...kya baat hai...!dheeme dheeme austin ka rang chad raha hai...!"

Arpita: " ye kya haal bana rakha hai......dubai hokar aya ho kya..... "

Chatti: " abe abu salem ke bhai "

Bhutto: "ek dam bollywood villan lag reha hain sala tum"

Dabbu ji: "kyun miya, photu dekh ker lag raha hai ki guantanamo se apna sentence complete karke kal raat hi laute ho!"

Akshay: "who is this hooligan!!!!!"

Ruchi di: "arrey wah kya photo lagaya hai..bole to ekdam jhakas"

Shalabh: "saale gunda lag raha hai ..waise is ishtyle pe kitni ladkiyaan mar miti hai "

Prashant: "beta photo me pahchan me nahi aa rahe "

Shailu: "subhan allah!!!!"

Nishith:" teri foto kisi wanted ke ad se uthai hui lagtu hain "

Aakanksha: " turned into some smuggler or gangster or something? "

Kadir: "



"

Arnav: " Pehle hi... Bhaagwan ne itna sundar saakal diya use aur sunder kyon bannane pe lage ho miya..... "

Aviral: " abbe aisa lagta hai ki daud ke bad tumhara no. police ko chahiye........ "

Chaube: "bhaijaan tumne yeh christmas pe id wala getup kyun rakh liya..pehchan main hi nahi aa rahe ho....naam bhi shehraz peshawari rakh lo..."

Bunty: " ye kya ho gaya aap ko aap to aise na the ... "

Ritika: " wow! kya photo hai!!!! akhir wahan ka asar aa hi gaya "

Bansal: " baap re baap..............sir kisse ka number do na...ek ko uthwana hai... "

Amit: " abe mast photo hai...ekdam terrorist lag raha hai who is trying to escape thru disguise...."

Shravan: "abe don k bachhe ... ye kya hulia banaya hua hai (shekhon wala)... tu US me hi hai na ... kaheen uae to nahin chala gaya ... ;)"

Man...never knew that this pic would generate so much attention. But anyway, due to the enhanced presence of my so many sisters, this news reached my mother back in india. She isn't an internet bug by any angle but thanks to my ever-indulgent sister who asked her to see my orkut photo so many times like it was the biggest blockbuster in indian cinema, my mom took the special effort to go to the cafe and see ki aakhir us photo main aisa hai kya. And her reaction was even more fierce "Ye kya behuda photo laga rakhi hai.....lagta hi nahin ki apne ghar ka ladka hai....turant hatao ise".

And like an obedient son, i replaced the photo....Trust one photo to elicit such reaction !! Main apni marzi se apni profile pe ek photo bhi nahn laga sakta.....sigh :(

Lesson Learnt: If you have proactive family members on www, avoid stunts !!

Reflections

So the first semmester @ UT comes to an end. It seems like yesterday when i landed here.

When i was about to leave for US, i had butterflies in my stomach. I had all good reasons to come to UT but still i have an uncanny knack of seeing the worst happening out of the best decisions. That works well for me though but thats a really sick attitude !! I had no clue whatsoever but everything for me was set. My journey from India to US was as smooth as a Smirnoff Raspberry twist :D. But frankly except for the culture shock, everything here is just as smooth as smirnoff. (Well its an idiot's guess now what drink i prefer :) ). You really need a super-strong reason to go back to india. The irony is that most desis want to go back but for some reason or the other they stayed back and almost everyone agreed that if you stay here for 5-6 years you cannot go back. You are spoilt beyond repair !! Whenever i am with jiju's friends, two themes dominate their conversation - Green card and going back to india. What an irony in itself !!

Anyway i went a bit off-track but could not help it. I had two impressions of US education system - one desi students rock and others suck and two MS is a cakewalk compared to IIT. Both stand shattered. But one thing is sure, on the quantitative side indians rule. Rarely is someone who is not majoring in maths able to give desis competition. My department offers a maths course. Traditionally, desis have cracked the course and I am looking forward to take the mantle next fall. An 'A' certainly will look good [:)] on any transcript. Gradewise, I think this semmester is gonna suck for me and i can't pinpoint the reason. I guess it was just meant to be.
I will find out in a week.

And definitely MS is not a cakewalk even if you are from IIT. The thing is that you are really made to work for every gradepoint you earn. Besides, there is an assistantship which will take care of all your extra time. Not to forget the additional responsibilty of managing your home. I never had a good opinion of housewives. I thought it was a sheer waste of talent and resources but after coming here, my respect for them has increased tremendously. So now I can truly call myself independent. There isn't any job required for comfortable survival that i cannot do.

I do feel bored but certainly not lonely. I have good company here....haven't seen a single instance of racist abuse. I miss the fact that i can no longer zip off on a bike when i want to. You need a car for that. There are no road-side dhabas where you can drop for 'ek cup chai'. You cannot play loud music and be unruly...you run the risk of poking your neighbour the wrong place. There are a whole lot of rules to be followed. But still , the life is convenient but there is a tinge of loss. Loss of community interaction that is....somehow the warmth of people feels superficial. Especially for a hardcore desi like me who still hasn''t got used to using napkins instead of hands [;)] and whose idea of celebration is definitely not getting dead drunk in some goddamn bar and sleep with some 'oh-i-am-not-a-whore-i-just-slept-with-5 guys-till now' type chic. There are better ways to enjoy. But then I am doing absolutely fine here so no worries [:)]. I am learning to appreiate the way ppl enjoy life here.....i guess i sont have much of a choice. I have a Las Vegas trip coming up so hopefully all frustrations end there...[:d].

PS: I happened to see Sooraj Barjatya's 'Vivah'. Its a well-made movie in sync with its theme to the T. Do watch it if you want to see how your dads and moms must have romanced. I do not guarantee you will enjoy it but its a vintage movie the likes of which i have never seen. After the brazenness in hollywood flicks, the overly quaint and overly traditional portrayal in the movie was a welcome break !!